Secretly Yours
by Mrs.Ishida-to-you
Summary: Mimi and Yamato... hate each other publicly like no one else. But behind all that, their hidden love runs deep; What happens when his fiance threatens all of that? Will Mimi have enough time to save him? Ch. 13 up. Mimato, with a bit of Sorato.
1. Killer 2000

Alrighty. I know, I have other stories out. But I'm nearly done with this one already!



Anyways, this one's a Mimato. And contrary to my previous stories, it's got swearing (shock), sex (SHOCK), and… _emo-ness_ (faints).

It was actually easy to write. It used to be hard to type the word _fuck_ (which comes from the German word _frichen_, which means _to strike,_ and can be used as a noun [I don't give a fuck!, verb [Fuck you!, or virtually ever part of the sentence [Fuck the fucking fucker! XD, I don't own _History of the F-word_, unfortunately).

But now, as you just read, I have no problems. Same thing with sex.

Now, let me tell you here. There will be sex. Among unmarried people.

I don't approve, seeing as I think you should wait until marriage, but there was no realistic way to make them all virgins, unless I made them either weird like me or highly religious (which I'm not, I just believe you should wait, that's all). So it was a bit weird, and it did go against me morals, but eh, whatever.

I'm not here to push my beliefs. I'm here to (hopefully) entertain you people with my story.

It's been a while since I last wrote anything, and boy does it feel good to write after all the stuff that's happened.

Anyways, here is the first chapter of Secretly Yours.

Mrs. Ishida presents…

Chapter 1

"Jackass!"

"Bitch!"

"Douchebag!"

"Dumbshit!"

"Fuckface!"

"Lardass!"

Sigh. I need an aspirin.

"Whoa, you guys, calm down… GUYS!"

"Why should I? Ishida Yamato has to be one of the biggest assholes ever to walk the planet!"

Lie.

"Oh please, at least I don't walk around thinking that the whole world revolves around me!"

"The hell you don't!"

He didn't. Seriously.

"Dammit… you think just because you've got some huge modeling contract that you can walk around treating other people like crap!"

"I do not! I don't have a huge-ass ego, like you do! Just because you're in a famous band doesn't mean that you can be a jackass to everyone else!"

"Why are you such a bitch, Mimi?!"

"Go to hell, Yamato!"

"Hey, hey, don't make me separate you two!"

Poor Tai.

"You can go screw yourself and die, for all I care, Ishida! I hate you!"

Lie. Biggest lie I ever told. One of them, anways.

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My _lovely_ dream is interrupted by the telephone. I groggily sit up, rub my eyes, and look at the clock. Shit. It's 8 in the morning… I'm late!

I pick up the receiver.

"Hello?" I ask nervously, stumbling out of my silk sheets and over to my closet.

"Mimi? It's 8… you were supposed to be here half an hour ago," Kari's voice came over the line, patient as always, although, with her job, which was to basically to wait on me, I didn't see how she did it. I'm not the easiest person to put up with. You see, at 22 years old, I am one of the greatest supermodels the world has ever seen. Or so I'm told. It started when I was entered in a beauty contest at 15, which a talent scout happened to attend. Two weeks later, I was approached by one of the biggest names in the fashion industries, Takenouchi Sora, who, at the tender age of 19 started her own line and became an overnight billionaire. Only 7 years into her job and at the age of 26, she could retire, and her children, nor their children, nor even their children, would ever have to work. But she absolutely loves what she does.

And today is one of the biggest days of the year for us… the annual show, where some of the top lines in the world have us model their clothes. Louis Vuitton. Gucci. Dolce & Gabbana. Versace. You get the picture. (AN: _None of which, unfortunately, are mine. Or else I'd be in Hawaii right now. I'd probably own Hawaii right now_.)

And I'm late.

Dammit.

"I know, I know, I'm so sorry Kari! I overslept, but I promise I'll be down there in 10!" I scrambled around for my shoes.

"Alright, but hurry! She's starting to worry…"

I knew exactly who 'she' was… she was Sora… Takenouchi Sora was brilliant, but I'm afraid she let the line of work she was in take over her life. She's a perfectionist, and everything has to be absolutely perfect. It can be irritating at times, but who am I to tell her how to do her job? Thanks to her, I really don't have to work much for _my_ living.

"I promise, I'll be down there… bye Kari," I said, and hung up. I literally tripped over furniture around my spacious room trying to get dressed, and on my way out, nearly tripped into a table. Smooth. What an auspicious way to start my day.

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"Aw, come _on_ Tai! Why the hell do I have to go to this?" I asked irritably of my friend/manager Kamiya Taichi, on the phone, while eating my breakfast.

"Hey, didn't you promise your _beloved_ that you'd be there for her big day? She is showing off her new line after all… and besides, it'll be good publicity, Yamato." he explained. I swear, if he wasn't one of my best friends since birth, I'd sock him. They both _know_ I hate this kind of crap… I'd rather stay at home and watch T.V. than to go to some frea-, excuse me, "_fashion"_ show where a bunch of anorexic models wear weird-ass clothes that cost ungodly amounts of money because of a famous name on a label. Yet it's Sora's passion, and while I don't understand it, she goes to my practices and is there for me when I'm stressed during the process of recording new albums she supports the hectic pace of my life, so I always think it fair to go for her. But _Tai_ wants me to go. What the hell? He's my manager, of my band, not of my life. Good for publicity…. Like I need any more of that. I already have rabid fan girls plotting for Sora's demise and trying to get locks of my hair for love potions and such.

I ate the rest of my breakfast, and shuffled out the door.

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Alright, quiero 4 review-os. Por favor.

4 Reviews. That's all I ask for. Even if it was just 'nice chap' or something.

Please?

Thank you!

Have a lovely Christmas (or Kwanzaa or Hanukkah or whatever you celebrate) season!

Mrs. Ishida-to-you


	2. Rush Hour

Hola! I told you, I already have this nearly done. All I need are rewiews.

I only got 3. Makes me sad. But because I'm such a good person, I'm not going to make those 3 fantastic people who did bother to review suffer.

Well, here are my thank you's to those who DID rewiew (after about 30 hits…)

**To ****Raycel03****: Thank you:D**

**To ****populette****: Nah, it's not too long. I like long reviews. They make me happy. Yeah, I like Mimato too, way better than Sorato. I actually despise Sorato, but sometimes she just works better. :P Anyways, thank you!**

**To ****Yen****: Thank you… at least you took the time to press the button and review. :P **

Alrighty, here we go! Hopefully this one's more interesting than the last chapter. I know it started off sort of slow…

Mrs. Ishida-to-you presents….

Chapter 2

"Mimi! Over here!" I hear Kari's voice as I make my way through the sea of people. Damn I'm late. Swarms of people are already here… my makeup's going to take at _least_ half an hour…

"Hey Kari," I reply, as I push my way past the last person, and make my way backstage with her. "How is she?" I ask tentatively.

"Well, she's not happy, I'll tell you that," she replied, nervously, expertly guiding me through the maze of people and racks and stands. "But you're one of her most valuable assets, so she's not going to go ballistic on you. Expect a lecture though," I roll my eyes. I _hate_ her lectures. They always start off with "Mimi, you are a very talented girl… you are one of the greatest supermodels this world has ever seen. Now, that's a very impressive title, and you have to work to maintain that…", then she dives into a guilt trip, then into a responsibility tangent, then finishes off with some example of her younger self to really make her point about how my choices can drastically affect my life. I could practically recite her lectures back to you. I've heard each one of them at least 50 times. I'm 22 years old… I want to _live_ my life to my standards, not hers. Which, I might add, are about as fun as memorizing trig values and identities.

"Alright… I'm really sorry, Kari… you must have gotten the brunt of it…" I say, and as she slightly bites her lip and looks away, I know it's true. Sometimes, I really looked up to Sora. Most times, though, I really hated her. She had a tendency of acting like she was above everyone who worked for her. And especially in Kari's case, that was something I can't stand. Kari has to be one of the friendliest, nicest, most wonderful women you could ever meet. She's only 19 and trying to make her way through college. True, she was the younger sister of one of the most sought after agents in Japan, but she lacked the fieriness required to survive in this field. And for that, people tended to treat her like a doormat.

"It's fine… anyways, you better get into makeup before you anger the '_artists'_," she says with a fake accent, and be both giggle, knowing how true that would be.

"Alright, I'll see you later," I reply, and turn into the 'studio' they had set up.

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I found a seat in good time, but now I'm bored. Looking at my watch, there's still 20 minutes to go. Instead of sitting here, watching all the rich 'elite' of Japan crowd into one building, while having the paparazzi randomly take blinding photos of me, I get up, and head backstage, to find Sora. Maybe I'll get lucky.

Ha, just kidding. She's probably way too wound up anyways. That woman works too much. I don't get to spend enough time with her, and when she's not working, she's on that phone talking to agents all over the world.

As I pass through the people quickly scrambling around, I pass all the girls getting their makeup and hair done. Some of them are real works… scary ass makeup, weird ass clothes… and damn. They need to eat. I have no idea why this is the ideal. Why do women want to look like walking sticks? Don't they know men like some meat on them? I'm so glad Sora doesn't buy into all this nonsense. She just designs their clothes. It's actually not her pressuring her models to be thin, thank god, or else she and I would have to have a serious talk. There's nothing I can't stand more (well, maybe not) than to have these models as role models to young girls. No wonder eating disorders are so prevalent.

Oh yay. One real-looking woman just passed by. Maybe the situation isn't as dismal as I thought.

Just as I was about to pass by them all and the crazy rush to get things done, a familiar face enters my line of vision, sitting about 20 feet away. Then very familiar chestnut hair… then the gorgeous, healthy body…. Mimi.

My heart skips a beat. I haven't really seen her in at least a year. I've seen her modeling for some of the 'biggest names in fashion' (or so Sora gloats to me), and in magazines and stuff, but not in person. The mere sight of her takes my breath away. She always was stunningly beautiful, at least in my eyes. I adored every little thing about her, from her amazing hazel eyes, with flecks of green and yellow here and there, to her killer body, to the cute way she wrinkles her nose when she's confused or irritated, to her crazy personality. She is certainly a wild card. If she cares about you, she's one of the most faithful people on the planet. But watch out if you get her angry; she'll have no problem telling you _exactly_ what she thinks of you. She can be cruel, if she chooses.

It reminds me of the last time we met in public. That went about as well as trying to extinguish a fire with gasoline. We were at some premiere or something, and we happened to bump into each other. Immediately, she began insulting me. So, going along with the act I always have to put on, I followed suit. It ended with her yelling something about how I take it up the ass or something like that and giving me the finger, and me yelling about how she's such a whore that she makes strippers look virginal. Or something dumb like that. I don't know. I like to put those instances out of my mind, and replace them with the dreams I've had of her and I reconciling and expressing our deep love for each other before we elope and honeymoon in the Caribbean in complete marital bliss.

But I shouldn't do that. For one thing, I'm engaged to Sora. I love Sora. I think. No, I do love her. Second of all, Mimi hates my guts, and if given the chance, probably wouldn't hesitate to blow my brains out while I slept. Or in broad daylight, for that matter. It's always been that way. And I, being my usual stupid self, can't _possibly_ be so in love with someone who hates me so. It'd be so pathetic. So to save my reputation, for the past 13 years that I've known her, I have pretended to hate her with as much passion as she does me. Which is a lie. It couldn't be farther from the truth. The funny thing is, we know each other inside and out. She knows me better than Sora does, and I her, so it's not some blind crush… I love Mimi for everything that she is… her personality, her actions, her incredible looks… everything. I'd do practically anything, if it meant that she'd only love me back. But it can't be that way. She hates me, that's the way it's always been, and it's the way it always will be.

Most people would feel sorry for me. Don't. I got used to this a long time ago, and aside from the occasional desperate longing that hits me like a 16 wheeler, I'm fine. I've accepted my fate that the love of my life simply isn't interested. I do love Sora. I really do, and I know she loves me too. We both know what we want in life, and I'm excited at the prospect of living my life with her. I can never tell her this… and the only crappy part is I know it will never completely fade; it'll be one of those things that you always want, but is constantly out of reach, and no matter how much you try to ignore your longing for it, it only grows stronger. Such is my love for Tachikawa Mimi. Sometimes, it's bearable, and I can live my life, and no one is the wiser. Sometimes, I end up breaking down like a child, loving her so much and yet being so unable to do anything about it.

The only other person who knows is my brother Takeru. He thinks me a fool for going along with it, and not ever telling her.

"You'll end up killing yourself slowly, one way or another," he always tells me. Bullshit. I can handle it. I've handled it for years.

I'm so wrapped up in my thoughts that I fail to notice the big rack being wheeled over to makeup. The pusher of this rack also fails to notice, and the next thing I know, I'm on my ass on the floor, with a bunch of people crowding around me.

"Ishida Yamato!"

"Oh my god, are you alright?!"

"Yamato, look over here!"

Cameras go off, women swarm around me, gawking, and one single tiny, lily-white hand reaches out to help me up. I take the hand and pull myself up. Looking up (or down, in this case) into the face takes my breath away for the second time.

"Smooth, Ishida," Mimi says, a smirk upon her lovely face. I can see the hatred and the triumph in her eyes, and I try to match it. It's times like this, when I suddenly want to take her up into my arms and kiss her senseless, that really irritate me. "But I guess with all that hair, it's impossible to see where you're going," she rolls her eyes. People go quiet. More cameras.

"I wouldn't be talking… you should probably take off that dead animal you call a wig so you can see. But then again, no one else can see where you're going… when was the last time you ate, a week ago? And gum doesn't count as food," I retort, smirking to myself. I had to admit, as much as I hated to insult her goddess like figure, these sparring matches were a lot of fun. I always loved to see her wit in action. It's one of her more endearing qualities.

She was about to answer with something especially cheeky, but just then, Sora pops out of nowhere, pushing people aside.

"Alright, break it up… Yama-chan, Tachikawa, I won't have a blood bath at my show…you, go change, Yama, go sit down please," she said irritably. The crown began to disperse. Mimi shrugged and left, and Sora pulled me aside.

"Yama, what the hell was that?" she asks, giving me her patent annoyed look.

"What? We didn't do anything. I fell, she came over, insulted me, I insulted her back, etc. All in good fun," I respond with a small smile. She sighs and rubs her temples.

"I don't need this right now, Yama… this is a huge deal for me, and I don't need you two to start fighting again. I know you despise each other, but really… can't you act civilized? I mean, can't you see each other without feeling the need to rip each other's throats out? I…"

Uh oh… a Takenouchi lecture. Dammit. I really hate it when she lectures me. It makes me feel like a little kid who's done something wrong. Sometimes she acts like my mother. It's a bit unsettling.

"Yama! Are you even listening to me?! You're not! See, this is what I'm talking about! If we're going to be married, it's going to have to be a fifty-fifty effort!..."

And there she goes again, ladies and gentlemen.

I sigh.

"Sora, I'm sorry, alright?" I give her my most charming smile, which, while completely effective for the rest of the female population, doesn't seem to work in times like these when I need it most. "Really, I am. I didn't mean to upset you, and I'll try to be civilized around her, okay?" I pout a little. She smiles a bit.

"Alright… I'm so glad you listen to me, Yama," she said, kisses me on the cheek. Just then, her cell rings.

"Hello? Oh, Kaio-san, hey, about that contract…" and she walks off

Wait, did she just say… ugh. I hate it when she says stuff like that. In case you haven't noticed, she's a bit of a control freak. Control freak perfectionist, basically your Type-A kind of person. She has no idea how irritating it is that she always thinks you're wrong and she's right. Like just now. She gives me no room for mistakes. It's times like these when I really wonder what I'm getting myself into.

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As I walk back to finish getting ready for the show, my mind is thinking about anything and everything related to Yamato as possible. It's a wonder I don't trip over something, because I am so lost in it all that I'm not concentrating at all. My heart was still going about a million miles an hour.

I swear, that boy isn't good for me.

That boy?

Let me rephrase that… that incredible hunk of work known as Ishida Yamato isn't good for me. I can't look at him without palpitations and a gasp, and not just for the obvious reasons. Yes, he is attractive. Ridiculously attractive. Let me start off with those eyes… the oddest shade of blue I've seen; they're pure cobalt. And quite mesmerizing. And I have no idea whether he actually spends time on his hair or whether he just wakes up like that in the morning, but his hair is something to be admired… not too long, not too short, and messy in all the right places. Bed-headish, which just makes him even sexier.

And that body. You'd think for a musician, he'd be scrawny. But he's not… he's just perfectly toned and everything. It really doesn't help. Some nights, I can't sleep because all I can think of is how much I'd love to have those hands all over me and those strong arms wrapped around me… and how much I'd love to just be able to rest my head on that expansive chest, and fall asleep to the beat of his heart.

But even if he were the ugliest man on the planet, I'd still have all these reactions when I look at him. Not only do I see him a lot less than I would like, but I can never have him.

You see, I am living in one of the world's screwiest romance novel plots. Only in this one, the girl doesn't get the guy in the end, or vise versa. He hates me with a passion unrivaled. He's hated me since we met 13 years ago, when I was only 9 years old. I have no idea what it was, but he just didn't like me. And when I got my first modeling contract, he _really_ hated me, and often told me how I thought I owned the world, etc. etc.

It seems insane that I can honestly say I'm in love with someone who hates me so, but it's true. And it's exactly the reason why I have to keep up the façade of hating him. I can't have that stigma of being known as that 'one girl' who's so hopelessly in love with Yamato that it drives her crazy. It would make me seem so pathetic, or paint a picture of me as one of his fangirls. At least pretending keeps _some_ of my sanity. And also, if my feelings were to be known, not only would I be mocked, pitied, and all the things I _hate_, but he would be villainized. I wouldn't be able to stand that, because, for as much as he taunts me in hatred, he's not a bad guy. He's actually a real sweetheart. He's kind, gentle, charming, and so incredibly sweet. He knows exactly how to sweep a lady off of her feet, and he's very honest. I know that if somehow, he were to love me, he'd let me know everyday, subtly. He's the kind of man to randomly leave flowers on your doorstep, or to surprise you one night after work with a romantic dinner. He's also very loyal… if he loves you, he loves you dearly, and nothing can change that.

It's things like this that really make my heart want him all the more. I already know I can't have him; it's just an accepted fact. Not only does he not love me and never will, he's engaged to my boss. Even if somehow he _did_ love me, that would be wrong, on so many levels, not to mention it would mean career suicide. Sometimes, it gets more than I can bear… the man I love the most with one of the most selfish, perfectionist… _bitches_ on the planet! Can't he see what kind of life he's going to lead if he marries her? Of course, I can't tell him this without both of them thinking I'm trying to sabotage their relationship or something, but honestly: I'd rather see him marry Kari than Sora. Then at least he'd have a chance at being happy for the rest of his life. It makes me want to scream, more than I already do. Usually, I can ignore it, but some nights, the pain of being not only alone but without my love gets to be so painful that I wonder if I can make it to 30. If I even _want_ to make it to 30. And then I start thinking about my life ahead of me, always pretending to hate Yama, and having him hate me. My life without him, pretending, with someone else. I've attempted suicide a few times before, and it would be safe to say that one day, I'll probably succeed.

Right now, I'm fine. But then again, I haven't seen him in years, and thankfully, Sora doesn't gush about their relationship. But the last time I saw him, it was enough to push me over the edge and into a full blown breakdown.

Magical. Just what I need on one of the biggest days of the year! Why the hell is he here, anyways?

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And here we end chapter 2. I hope that wasn't too emo for y'all. I find it kind of easy to go in depth when a character is particularly thoughtful or sad. Not that I'm emo or anything. : P

Don't worry… things will get better and funnier (hopefully) in the coming chapters as things heat up a bit.

Don't get your undies in a bunch, it's all typed up and ready to go, so all I need are a few reviews.

Por favor?

Gracias mucho!

Have a lovely day, all.

Mrs. Ishida


	3. Autumn Leaves

Alright, first of all, I have to make one apology: I wrote the rest of the story in the past tense, while the first part is mostly in present.

Damn I'm an idiot.

I was writing the story late at night, and then I had to finish it up in the morning, so I guess that's partly to blame.

I might go back, re-do it all to make it match, si tengo tiempo.

Tell me what you think I should do, or if it bothers you at all. It bothers me a hell of a lot, but if no one is bothered, then I guess I'll leave it be.

Alright, chappie 3 up. Rather short, so I'll probably put up 4 in a timely manner.

**To populette: Well, I had to compensate for all the times that Sora was a good girl in my stories. I despise her, and I would have like to have seen her freeze in Siberia. Maybe Yuri would have taken care of her.**

**XD**

**Anyways, thanks for the rewiew! Hope this wasn't too long of a wait. I'll try and check out that fic, too.**

**To Alishiya: your name is scarily close to mine. : )**

**I always love Matt decribed. I don't care if he is a cartoon. He's damn hot. :D**

**Chain-chan: thank you! Hope this wasn't too late: )**

Chapter 3

Yama and I met when I was 9 years old, at school. We were both in the same grade, and for some reason, he just hated me on sight.

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_The first time I saw her, I was 10 years old and I was sitting under a tree, like the loner I was, eating my lunch. _

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_A red rubber ball rolled to a stop in front of the small girl sitting at the lunch table._

"_Hey Mimi! Throw us that ball, will ya?" yelled a skinny 10 year old boy, with hair bigger than his head, to the girl. She grinned._

"_I wanna play with you guys!" she called back. The boy grinned back, but behind him, a group of boys began protesting._

"_Oh come on, Tai! You wanna play with a girl?" _

"_Tai loves Mimi! Tai loves Mimi!"_

"_If she's gonna play, then I ain't!"_

_The boy turned around to glare at them._

"_I'd shut your face if I were you!" he threatened. The girl walked over with the ball._

"_So are we gonna play, or not?" she asked, shifting her weight to one leg, one hand on her hip._

"_I'm not playing with a girl" one of the boys taunted. Tai made a move to punch him in the face, but the girl stopped him._

"_Don't, Tai," she said calmly._

"_But Mimi, they won't let you play!" he retorted. She smiled._

"_Oh, they will", she said simply. The boys looked at each other in confusion._

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_The boy sitting under the tree was simply eating his lunch, observing his classmates. He had bright blue eyes and messy blonde hair, and was tall for his age. _

_Yamato had never been particularly popular; at his old school, he was just known as the weird loner with the harmonica. He was used to it, not being a people person, and finding his peers rather irritating; the boys were stupid and acted tougher than they were, and the girls were stupid too and acted weak. Extreme femininity in girls was never something he found attractive at all, even at his young age._

_He watched with interest as the chestnut-haired girl walked over with supreme confidence, challenging the group of boys to play, and found even more intriguing her next actions…_

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"_Oh, they will", she said simply. The boys looked at each other in confusion. She smiled, then with a sudden movement and a loud cry, hurled the ball right into one of the taunter's groin. She smirked as he went down to his knees in pain and the other boys just stared in shock._

"_What, still don't wanna play? Too afraid of getting creamed by a girl?" she asked of the rest of them. They merely shook their heads, their eyes big._

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_The boy suddenly sat up. 'Who is that girl?' he thought to himself. He'd never seen such a show of confidence from a girl, and he found it amusing. All he could do was watch her, now interested in her every movement, as she played even better than the boys at whatever it was that they were playing, with confidence, agility, and skill. He'd never quite seen a girl like her, and it was unsettling the feeling he was getting in the pit of his stomach. It was quite foreign; he actually wanted to learn more about her. Usually, he was content sitting on the sidelines, watching everyone else and keeping his distance… but he found himself wondering if and when he'd be able to talk to her later._

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"_Mimi, you are the most awesome girl I know!" Tai exclaimed as he ran up to her after recess. She smiled._

"_I know," she replied. As she made her way back to class with Tai, she turned her head and caught a glimpse of someone new. She new basically everyone in her grade and above; this person was new. It was enough to make her look twice… he certainly was cute. Added to that… well, he just had a look about him… she could tell right off the bat he was way different than anyone she'd met before. He walked differently, and alone, and wasn't focused on anything around him… just thinking about something._

"_Mimi, where are you going?" Tai asked, as she walked past their class, breaking her out of her thoughts. The boy walked out of sight._

"_Oh, oops! Sorry!" she giggled, and walked inside._

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_Mimi walked off of the bus._

"_Bye Tai!" she called back to her friend, who was headed in the opposite direction, and started walking. This was her least favorite part of the day; none of her friends had the same route home._

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_Yamato stepped off the bus, glad his first day was over. For all his outwardly calmness, he hated new situations, especially those involving other people. Even though his father wasn't going to be home until late, he couldn't wait to get home and relax. As soon as he started for home, he suddenly stopped. He had spotted the girl from recess, among a few others, walking the same way. He began walking faster._

_As luck would have it, something dropped from her backpack; a notebook. She hadn't noticed. He ran over to it, and picked it up._

"_Excuse me…" he mumbled. She kept walking. He walked over and tapped her shoulder. She turned, and her eyes widened slightly. That kid from earlier… she thought._

"_You dropped this," he said quietly, and handed her the now slightly dusty notebook. She looked down, and took it._

"_Thanks," she replied, and smiled. He barely managed to smile back. Being the people person she was, this struck her as odd. He sure is weird, she thought._

"_So, are you new?" she asked, in hopes of not only finding out more about this mysterious boy but also to make the journey home a little less dull._

"_Yeah," he replied, not looking at her. She waited for more of an answer, and upon receiving none, cleared her throat._

"_Where you from?" she asked._

"_Kyoto," he mumbled, still not looking at her. Not that he didn't want to. He wanted to alright, but when it came down to it, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He'd never before felt like this, especially in front of a girl, and was disturbed by his inability to even speak. _

_She looked at him with slight frustration._

"_Are you always this quiet?" she asked, somewhat rudely, looking at him with her eyebrow raised. He immediately looked over._

"_What?"_

"_Are you always this quiet?" she repeated, in the same tone. This really struck him... he had never met someone so straightforward. All the girls he'd met beat around the bush when they wanted something._

"_No…" he replied slowly._

"_I bet you are! You don't have any friends, do you?" she asked. She hadn't meant it to come out the way it did, but the moment he heard it, something in him flared._

"_I do have friends… just because I don't talk as much as you!" he replied irritably. She couldn't understand why he was taking such offense to what seemed to her to be an innocent guess._

"_You don't have to get so defensive about it… I was just asking!" she replied, rolling her eyes._

"_Well maybe you should just keep your mouth shut instead of saying stupid things like that!" he retorted, and an instant later, felt a blinding pain right in the center of his nose. He landed on the ground with a thud, and looked up at her._

'_What was that for?" he demanded, holding his nose, wincing in pain._

"_For being a jerk!" she yelled. A small crowd of kids had formed around them, cheering them on. "Well, come on, get up!" she yelled. He dusted himself off and stood up. He had started walking away when the crown began to boo._

"_Come on! You're not gonna let Tachikawa beat you, are you? Come on!" one boy yelled. He stopped._

"_I don't fight girls," he said quietly._

"_Afraid, are ya? What is it with the guys at school? They're all pathetic wimps!" she laughed. He turned._

"_You really wanna fight?" he asked. She smirked._

"_Come on, I can take you," she replied. The crowd cheered. Just as she was about to throw the first punch, a crossing guard ran over and grabbed her._

"_Whoa! What are you kids up to?! You can get suspended for this, even off campus! Now go home! No fighting!" he reprimanded as he released her. Mimi and Yamato stood glaring at each other, both feeling the mutual impressments with each other but not daring to express it. That would be pathetic, to be crushing on someone who hates you, after all._

**IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII**

From that point on, she's fascinated me. She's a feisty one… from day one, she's hated me, and hasn't been shy about telling me about. Funny; that's one of the things that makes me love her so much. My love only grew throughout high school, as we developed into separate people, and I watched her grow up into a lovely young woman involved with this and that.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

From that point on, I couldn't help but have a strange affection for him. As we went through high school, and we both developed into young adults, I couldn't help but fall more in love with him. By that time, just by being his worst enemy, I knew him better than anyone else. It was hard, loving him so much, but pretending to the world to feel the opposite… I have no idea what got me through, other than Tai and the numerous boyfriends I had to fill Yama's spot. It naturally wasn't the same, but for then, it was good enough.

Alright, I told you, it was short. But I'm hoping that the fact that this explains a bit of their past will do for now. Again, I'll try to update soon.

Adios! Review, por favor! Quiero por lo menos 3 o 4 comentarios!

Much love,

Mrs. Ishida

And Merry Christmas:D


	4. In Your Eyes

I didn't forget y'all!

I swear it!

Junior year is keeping me busy. Which is good.

HAPPY SINGLE AWARENESS DAY!

:D

Alrighty, I finally got as many reviews as I wanted. I'm happy!

Here are my shoutouts!

**To chain-chan**: Eh, sometimes men deserve it. : ) Thank you for the review!! Lo siento para el wait-o!

**To Rofruri**: Ooh, gracias! Espero que te gustas este parte de mi cuenta. Gracias para tu comentario!

**To Alishiya**: Maybe it's the feminist in me, but I would hate Mimi if she was a whiny crybaby. Well, she sort of is. But she doesn't let it rule her life. He is. Cartoons _can_ be cute.

**To M M Forever**: I'm sorry for the wait!!! I had so much editing to do, because I was an idiot. :P Enjoy!

**To cancercute**: Welcome aboard! And thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this chappie (after the _friggin long_ wait!)

Let's get this party started!

Mrs. Ishida presents…

Chapter 4

Ah, finally, I caught her in a good mood. Sora's usually too tense and stressed to be in the mood, but I finally got her. This time it was easy… all I had to do was hit that spot on her back, and there was no way she could say no.

But due to the fact that she's currently going _crazy_ and already all excited even though I'm just laying here watching her, I think I may have overdone it. Oh well, it's all good… she's way too busy and stressed all of the time… the last time we got any action was… shit… _months_ ago? Maybe it has less to do with my skill than the fact that we both are probably really, really horny.

I don't even know.

Her cell phone rings. Damn, her shirt was half way off.

Naturally, she answers it. I think even if she were giving birth or stuck in a fire or something, she'd answer that damn phone.

"Hello?" she asks breathlessly. I hear a voice speaking rapidly. He eyes widen.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I forgot, Mimi!" she says, and gets off me. I turn my head to listen in; she's talking to Mimi?

"Yeah, yeah… I know… I'm _so_ sorry Mimi, I'll be right over!" she says, as she dashes around the room to fix her appearance, and shoves the phone back in her pocket.

"What's going on?" I ask, getting up and watching with interest as she stumbles around the room.

"I promised Mimi I'd go to lunch with her today to talk about the next show, and I completely forgot!" I smirked a little bit. I must have done a really good job… she never forgets stuff like that. She must've seen it.

"I know what you're thinking, Yama, and you're right… it's all your fault," she teases. I feign shock.

"Who, me? Distract _you_ from your plans? Never," I say, as I make my way over. I slowly reach for that spot again, but she smacks my hand away.

"Not this time… I have things to do… maybe later, Yama," she says, and starts walking out the door.

"Aww, I hardly ever see you anymore!" I whine. She can never resist my whining. She stops, and smiles, thinking.

"Why don't you come with me then?" I look at her strangely. "Yes, I know, _Mimi's_ going to be there, but after she leaves, then we can make a day of it and spend some time together… besides… you guys have _got_ to get over yourselves! Why do you hate each other so much, anyways?" she asks. I smile and shrug; it's not like I can honestly answer that. It's times like these that really make me feel terrible… I'll always love Mimi more than Sora, and there's nothing Sora can do to change that. She looks at me strangely.

"You two are very, very strange… now come on, or we'll be even more late than we already are!" she grabs my hand and rushes out.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Sora's late and she forgot about our lunch date… I wonder what happened? She never forgets appointments and such, not even when her father was in the hospital and she was rushing around taking care of him.

Haha, maybe she got hit by a truck.

Wow, I'm a bitch. I hope that's not what happened.

Because then I may be out of a job.

I start getting bored just sitting there all by my lonesome when I see her walk in. And guess who's behind her?

I automatically gasp. It's like this nearly every time I see him.

She smiles apologetically and waves.

"Mimi, I'm so sorry I forgot, I really am…it's all Yama's fault, anyways," she says and gives him a mock glare. He grins. My stomach gets automatic butterflies, and then drops. What the hell were they doing? She was sleeping with him? That bitch!

_Whoa. Down girl. Down! They're engaged, and have been for the past year. What do you think they're doing in that giant condo together? _

I fake a smile and a laugh. It's acquired skill, and no one yet has ever been able to detect it.

"It's alright, Sora," I say.

_No it's not. I want to rip your damn throat out._

_Easy now…_

"Anyways, so about this next show…"

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

I'm shocked… Mimi hasn't said anything rude to me at all… she's just smiled and laughed. But it was fake. She probably doesn't _care_ aobut my and Sora's love life, but somehow, that doesn't seem to be the reason. I've been able to read her eyes for a long time. They're very expressive, if you know what you're looking for. And I find she often fakes her emotions. Her happiness.

This is something that has plagued me for a long time. Why is she so unhappy?

The part that kills me the most is that I can't do a damn thing about it! How would I be able to help her?

Not only is she unhappy, she's plain suicidal… I know, I've visited her many a time as she lay in the hospital, failed attempt after failed attempt, and all I can do is sit by her bed, watching her hooked up to probably every machine in the hospital, wondering why in the world she is so unhappy. I always want so bad to hold her hand, so stay there all night with her, so when she finally wakes, I would be the first person she would see, and I'd be able to comfort her and be there for her and figure out why she's so miserable. It kills me so much to think that she wants to die… she is one of the greatest parts of my life, no matter how much she hates me; she means the world to me, and if she were to leave me, I don't know what I'd do, especially if she never knew how I felt about her. Sometimes I get so afraid… what if in of the long periods that I don't see her, she succeeds? I know I'd have two choices… live my life without her ever knowing, without ever seeing her beautiful smile again, and just _having_ her in my life, or following after her. In my state of mind, I'd be tempted to go the second route. _Very_ tempted. After all, what's here without Mimi? Sora, yes, but really, she could find someone else… I know without Mimi in my life at all, I would fall apart.

"Yama? Yama!" Sora calls my name as she waves her hand in front of my eyes. I blink, and look up. Mimi's looking at me with one raised eyebrow; Sora just smiles. "You okay? You were spacing out there for quite a while," I smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine... just tired," I reply.

"I would be too, if I were up as late as you were last night!' Sora says, taking a sip of her drink. Mimi snorts.

"Careful, Ishida. You know what they say, over-masturbation causes blindness," she sneers while sipping her drink.

"Ha, you would know. _I_ can get some real action," I retort. Sora sighs and rolls her eyes.

"Oh really? Judging by the way you have that wrinkled shirt inside out and a large stain on your chest, I would think not," Mimi says simply.

My eyes immediately dart down.

Damn. She's right. I know she's smirking without even looking at her.

"You know, if Sora-chan didn't catch that, how did you, being so rapt in conversation?" I ask, smirking. I know she hates me, but hey. She's human. I can see her looking at me, quite often. Her eyes widen slightly.

"Yamato, how is it that you have your head so far up your own ass that-"

"Oh please, _I'm_ the one with my head up my ass? Look in the mirror, Tachi-"

"Mimi! Yama! Stop it!" Sora said harshly, sitting up. "Must you two squabble like a couple of children every time you see each other? It's really infuriating!" She glared at us both. I glare at Mimi once more, wondering why she has a sadness in her eyes that is so mysterious. She does the same to me, and we turn away from each other. Sora sighs, then continues rambling about some show in Milan and how the them is going to be tropical, and blah blah blah.

IIIIIIIIIIIIII

_Yama POV, later that day_

"Oh Yama, I thought we were going to go shopping for some new furniture today?"

I sigh. That woman loves to shop.

"Sora, we don't really need any more furniture. And besides, my mother's been bugging me about how I never see her anymore, and how she hardly knows her daughter in law, and… well, I feel kinda bad. It's been a few months since I last saw her. Besides, my brother's going to be there, and I haven't seen him since he went to the U.S. to promote his book, and that was a year ago. You haven't actually met him yet, have you?"

"No, but I guess I can't wait. You make them sound incredible," she responds. I can't help but smile. She actually wants to meet my family. This is becoming all too real. It's great.

We step into the subway, to her slight protests about hygiene and 'weird people', and step out not 5 minutes later.

I'm glad once we get out into the fresh, or maybe not so fresh, air. It's a cool day and Sora is clinging to my arm, shivering slightly. I offered her my jacket, but seeing as the blue color of my jacket and its '80's cut' is out of fashion, she declines, opting for her knitted white jacket-thing that matches better with her outfit and her painful shoes. I call it a jacket-thing because it looks sort of like a jacket but is very loose and airy with all of the hol-_ventilations_, sorry, so therefore, is not a real jacket.

She can be so strange sometimes.

We arrive at the small white house in good time; I think that any longer in this wind, with her jacket-thingy, and she would have started going into hypothermia.

"Alrighty, be prepared," I warn her.

"For what?" she turns to me and asks, her eyebrow arched. I chuckle and hit the doorbell. Immediately,

"OOOOOOH!!! IS THAT MY BABY BOY?!?!" a voice from inside the house calls out. I snicker a little as Sora's face pales a bit. The door swings open, and my mother, all 140 pounds of her, hurtles at me, knocking me back a bit.

"Yamato! Oh, my little baby boy! Oh, it's about time you came to see me, I miss you so much some times!" she says, I think close to tears. She grabs my face, inspecting me for any signs of drunkenness, drugs, lack of sleep, lack of food, anything. She tisks, which means she's found something wrong.

"You're not getting enough sleep. And look at you, you're a walking beanpole! Good thing you came just before I was going to make dinner… you look starved!" she says, still holding onto my face, but looking down at the rest of me. By this point, I'm a little embarrassed. I warned Sora to be ready, but I don't think I was quite ready myself. My mother is _quite_ a mother.

"Mom… you know me, I'm just naturally skinny… and my schedule is kind of hectic…" I explain, as she grabs me by the neck for another bear hug.

"Oh, I know, I know… I just worry about you… out in the world and without me," she says, and sighs. "It happens to everyone, I know, but to me, you're still my little" Oh god, here comes the name, "_Yama-bear_," she says, looking at me endearingly. Sora sniggers a little. I glare at her.

"And Sora, it's been a while," she says, awfully coolly. I don't know if it's apparent to Sora, but my mother doesn't like her. She insists there's something 'off' about her and that she's up to no good.

"Yes, it has," Sora responds ever so politely. She turns. "What a lovely garden you have here… I love roses. Too bad I can't grow any, but naturally, the pent-house has no room for them," she says cheerily. My mother frowns a bit.

"What a pity that that pent house can't grow them, but that must mean you must keep it too drafty for _any_ type of flower," she says, then turns to me.

"You must be freezing, with that thin jacket and no meat on your bones… come on in!" she says, practically dragging me inside. I turn and shrug to Sora, who smiles back.

A shorter, tad bit stockier, near mirror image of myself walks down the stairs.

"Hey! Big bro, how are you? I haven't heard from you in ages!" T.K. exclaims. I grin and grab him into a tight hug.

"I know, it's really been too long. I'm great, but how are you? How were the States?"

"Eh, alright, although I must admit, I missed the girls back home. American girls are… weird." He says, trying his best to be polite, as always. I chuckle.

'That they are, especially when they're obsessive. Normal girls are scary when obsessive. American girls can get downright terrifying," I say, and he and I laugh.

"So, this is the famed Takenouchi Sora, soon to be Ishida Sora," he says, looking admiringly at my fiancé.

"Why yes it is… it's a pleasure to meet you. Yama talks a lot about you," she replies, bowing a little bit.

"I'm sure he tells you nothing but embarrassing stories, but half of it isn't true," he says, mock glaring at me.

"Oh no, I speak well of you, and I don't lie, especially when I'm telling her about that time you got out of the bath tub, slipped on a puddle of water, and flew out the window, _butt naked_, and grabbed onto a branch. In the front yard." I say, grinning evilly. His eyes widened, and he turned red, but in a moment, he countered,

"Well, I'm sure you've told her all about the time you were in a hurry to meet your girlfriend at the café, so you just grabbed the jeans right out of the wash without looking at them, and rode on the subway all the way down to downtown Tokyo with mom's yellow bra stuck to your ass," he smirks. My face reddens a bit too. Sora sniggers again.

"Very nice, Yama," she giggles. Just then, mom re-enters the room.

"Dinner will be ready in 20… T.K., why don't you go show Sora around the gardens. Yama, dear, help me make dinner, please," she says. T.K. and I give each other knowing glances. Mom's gonna talk to me about something awfully important… and she'll probably lecture me too. I follow her into the kitchen.

"So… Sora hasn't changed much since I last met her, when she was talking all about her brand new mansion down in Nara and how disappointing it was that it didn't come with the 9 bathrooms like she wanted," she starts off with, pulling ingredients out of the fridge.

"Nope," I say. As much as I hate to say it, my mom's right… Sora is a tad bit…quite a bit materialistic.

"And you… have you talked to Mimi lately?" she says, and I instantly know where this is going. Despite me never having told her, my mother always seems to skirt around my secret love for Mimi, while never directly approaching it or letting me know she knows. I don't know if it's just because she's crazy like that (and seriously, she _is_ crazy like that), or if it's just a mother thing.

"Just the other day, in fact,"

"Good, good… I like that girl, Yamato," she says, and I can smell a speech coming. She almost never uses my full name.

"I know," I say, trying not to roll my eyes.

"I know you know. And I know," she says, first turning to see if Sora is out of earshot, "That you like her _quite_ a bit. You have since you were young," she says, chopping carrots. I am a bit blown back. "Don't give me that look, Yamato, you know I know. I'm your _mother_. How could I not?"

I just stare at her, then look out the window.

"But she hates me, Mom. She hates my guts and if I told her, she'd probably rub it in my face for the rest of my life, not to mention humiliate me in front of the world."

There's a short pause while she looks back to the fridge to get more ingredients. She tosses me a potato.

"Start peeling. Now, I know, she's not too fond of you. Maybe it's true that she does hate you. But I know Mimi well enough to know that she wouldn't humiliate you. Taunt you, maybe. Expose you, no. She knows your position very well, and the consequences of her actions. Even if she doesn't like you, tell her anyways, Yama-bear. Get it out in the open, and you'll feel a lot better. You might even get her to treat you better-"

"Out of pity!" I say this so indignantly I nearly cut my finger on the peeler.

"It doesn't matter. Love is never wrong, and you should have no shame for it. Tell her how you feel… who knows, something could happen and you might never be able to," she says. I don't think she knows how ominous she can sound sometimes. Again, her being weird, or a motherly thing?

"Anyways, now I know you and Sora are very serious. I know you… love… Sora. But I think, Yamato, if you took a second to really listen to what your heart is telling you, there's another, better direction for you to take. Now I'm not trying to tell you not to marry Sora. You're a grown man, you do as you wish. I'm just saying, from what I observe, that woman is bossy, controlling, and I'm almost certain she has some sort of hidden agenda-"

"Mom!"

"What? It's my intuition! I don't trust her! Just remember what I've told you, and be careful!" she said, waving her knife around dangerously in the air. I back up and start peeling those potatoes faster before she starts getting on me about that too.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So. How was it?

If you're not hating Sora yet, trust me. You will.

All in good time.

Please please please review!!!!

Buenas noches!

Mrs. Ishida


	5. ImagineUnforgivable

Whoo! 528 hits and only 14 reviews!

Anyways, here is chapter 5, up in good time. I told you I have it all written out. It's just a matter of having time to post it.

And I must ask: Does this story suck or something, because usually by this time I have 40 reviews, and the same amount of hits.

Maybe people are getting bored with the beginning. Which is funny, seeing as this is my favorite piece that I've written. I don't know about the best, but it's my favorite.

Anyways, to the lovely folks who DID review:

**Chani-chan**: HA! I checked it before I moved on! I know, I've been posting Chain-chan, and that's not your name. But Microsoft Word automatically corrects it, and then I don't realize it until after I post. My apologies. Just wanted to say that. :P

**Populette**: Thank you! I do mean it to be rather depressing. But it's also kind of easy to write. :P Not saying I'm emo, but men can be rather… depressing.

**Picopico**: I was hoping people wouldn't think it just a dumb name. I got a chuckle out of it. Yay! Thank you!

**M M Forever**: Well, here it is, chappie 5. Thank you for waiting. And reading. And reviewing. I do appreciate that. : )

Mrs. Ishida presents…

Chapter 5

I wake from a very weird dream; one in which Mimi killed Sora with a steamroller, then whisked me off to a deserted island in her pink helicopter (which appeared out of nowhere), where the only other person was Tai, who was mysteriously dressed in a gorilla costume, eating sundaes with wasabi.

_Maybe I had a wee bit too much champagne last night at Mom's…_

I hear a small groan, as a sleeping body next to me pulls in closer. I smirk. I haven't seen her sleeping this well in a long time. All she needed was a little bit of the Ishida magic to wear her out.

Hehe.

I look over at the clock; 5:45 AM. Damn I'm awake early. I wonder why. Sora probably woke me, with her sleep moaning. I smirk.

_Bzzzzzz._

_Bzzzzz._

_Bzzzzz._

Still sort of sleepy, her cell phone amuses me momentarily.

_Haha, sounds like a cow… wait a minute…_ _who the hell is calling her at 6 in the morning? Won't they let her have a _life

I grope around for it in her pile of clothes on the floor, pick it up, and flip it open.

"Yeah?" I grunt.

The line goes dead. I roll my eyes, smack it down on the side table, and curl up closer to Sora.

I think I fell back asleep… the next time I awaken is because of that damn phone again. Looking at the clock, it's been an hour since it last went off. Not wanting to disturb her, I pick it up and answer it again.

"Hello?"

And again, the line goes dead.

Seriously. How rude can you get? I'm about to shoot that damn phone. Sora stirs on my chest, then groggily opens her eyes and looks up at me.

"Good morning,"

"G'morning, Yama," she says sleepily, stretches slightly, then collapses back onto me.

"Exhausted?" I smirk. She weakly punches me in the stomach.

"Shut up," she mumbles. I run my hand through her auburn hair. It's so soft and silky…I just love to run my hands through it.

"Mmmm…." She groans. I forgot. That's one of her spots. I smile even bigger. "Yama… what the hell do you think you're doing?" she asks weakly, while pulling herself closer to me.

"Oh, nothing," I say innocently, continuing to mess with her hair. Her fingers dig lightly into my chest.

"Yama…" she whines softly. I know her dilemma. Too tired to do anything about how turned on she's getting, but still not tired enough to ignore it. It's so fun to tease her.

"Hmmm?" I ask.

"Stop it…" she grumbles.

"I… don't think I will," I grin.

"Stop it…" she says, louder this time. There's no seriousness in her voice at all, though.

"Nope," I say, and continue to mess with her hair and massage her scalp.

"Mmmmmm" she groans, louder this time, and really pulls herself closer. Her back is even arching, which means I'm doing a good job. I'm getting turned on by just watching her. She burrows her face into my neck inhales deeply. "That's so unfair, Yama," she sighs.

"You love it, quit whining," I tease. "I know, it's a bit of an unfair advantage, but look what you get out of it," I reply. She looks up at me, lusty eyes and all, and smirks.

"Oh please… if anyone has the unfair advantage, it's me," she says, and runs her hand up my chest, with her nails.

_Gaaah_.

Dammit, forgot about that one.

I don't know what it is about that, but when she does that, that's it. I'm hers. Immediately, my eyes widen, I hold her tighter and arch my neck back.

"And look, you even stopped messing with my hair," she gloats.

I almost mock-glare at her, but not before I can stop myself from kissing her. She pulls me in closer, and climbs on me.

What a nice morning.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

One hour and counting. You would think after last night she'd be too exhausted, sore, or both to continue, but not Sora. Once you get her going, she's a wild one.

I can hear it in her voice… she's nearly at her peak.

It's very fun to watch. More fun to be subject to her passions, though.

Currently, her fingernails are digging so much into my back, I think they'll leave a mark. And if she arches her neck anymore, it will break.

Just then, her phone goes off, again. She stops, and reaches for it.

"Sora, _nooooo_," I whine, kissing her neck.

"Yama," she sighs "I have to at least see who it is… it could be important,"

"More important than me?" I pout.

"Of course not. But it's business," she says, and pulls the phone over. I pout some more. She deliberately ignores my face.

"Hello?" she says a bit breathlessly. I hear a faint voice. Male, I think. "Hey Kaio-san… well, sort of… why, is it important? Oh, there is? Alright. Alright, I'll see you then. Bye," she says, and tosses the phone back onto the nightstand.

"Who was that?" I ask a bit irritably at the fact that someone interrupted us, and I had to stop. That always makes me grumpy.

"A client… apparently we have some meeting today, and I have to be there at 10… what time is it?" she tries to sit up a little to look at the clock

"There's time enough left," I mumble as I go back to her neck. She sighs and relaxes against me again.

"By the way, someone called your cell twice this morning," I mumble. She tenses a little.

"Did you answer?" she asks with one eyebrow slightly arched.

"Yeah… both times, they hung up after I picked up," She relaxed a bit and closes her eyes again.

"Wrong number maybe?"

"Twice?"

"Maybe it was a client who thought they got the wrong number when they heard your voice… I'm known for always picking up my cell," she said, stretching her neck out as a subtle hint for me to keep going.

For the first time with her, ever, something just doesn't feel right. Maybe I should stop letting my mom get into my head. I can't go into marriage with any doubts.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

_Later that day, nearing sunset._

_Mimi POV_

I open the door to my condo, and step inside. Leaning against the door, I close my eyes and frown. I just can't stop thinking about him. Happens every time I see him.

She just _had_ to bring him along, didn't she? Sometimes I think it's all one big plot against me… that she _knows_ how I feel about him and is dangling him in front of me, living her fantastic life, while mine is crumbling. It's a miracle I'm not a druggie or an alcoholic, but I can certainly see why people take that road. Life sucks. Those who say otherwise are delusional, or selling something.

I sound stupid. All of this over a man. How typical.

I can feel it coming… the crushing emptiness is starting to wash over me again, and it will stay until either I can shake it off of me in one gigantic, exhaustive jolt or by death. Every time, I feel my energy, my persistence to live slowly draining, so that the next time I have less tenacity. One day, I won't be able to shake it off, and it will consume me and drive me to take my own life. Again.

I slide down the door and try to ride out the mass of negative emotion coming at me from all sides and compressing my lungs. My place looks dark, empty, and cold… in more than just the literal sense. It doesn't help. I need to run. Fast.

In a fit of fight or flight response, I get up, run to my room, dig out my shoes, and throw everything off, changing into running clothes in record time. I then beat it out of there as fast as I can, and out into the sunset.

IIIIIII

Yama POV

"I just love the sunset, don't you Yama?' she asks and looks up at me with admiring eyes. "They're just so beautiful,"

"Not as beautiful as you," I counter. She smiles and leans her head against my arm. I don't even try anymore… the charm just seems to ooze out of me. I wrap one arm around her and look around. We are walking in the park, and all around us are couples, young and old, so wrapped up with each other. There are little kids running around and playing in the multi-colored leaves. And then my eyes fall upon 2 other kids, a little ways off from all the rest. A boy and a girl, probably not older than 10 years old, playing tag and laughing like crazy. They have a relationship different than all the rest… perhaps they're crushing on each other; perhaps they're just really good friends; maybe they're just brother and sister. I don't know. It just reminds me so much of me and Mimi, and how different things would have been if I would have told her of my feelings, if I hadn't gotten defensive and pushed her away, if this would have happened or if that would have happened. I know it's not good to speculate like that because the past is the past, but sometimes regret washes over me so strongly that I can't help but to wonder.

"You alright, Yama?" a gentle voice brings me out of my thought. I look down at Sora, who now looks worried.

"I'm fine, really," I reply, and smile to quell her worry. She smiles back and again rests her head on my arm as we stroll through the park. The silence is broken by the familiar sound of her cell phone. I really want to shoot that damn phone.

"Sorry Yama," says apologetically. She flips it open and her eyes widen slightly.   
Hello, Kaio-san… hold on," she says, and turn to me. "I'll be right back, alright?" she smiles and starts walking away. I can hear her already discussing some big contract with a Russian model, whose name I can't even begin to pronounce. I watch her walk away, then look around for a bench, when I see something better: a soda machine. I know I shouldn't, but hey, who can resist the carbonated call of Pepsi? (AN: _I can! I detest soda. But I digress. I don't own Pepsi, obviously_)

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Despite the faint ache in my chest, I speed up. I want to feel the pain. I want to hurt. I want to exercise all of this torment out of me. The air is chilly… it doesn't help me, but it is autumn, which means the park is littered with beautiful trees dropping their leaves and a magnificent sunset on the hill in the middle. I turn into the park and pick up the pace even more. It's times like this when I can tune everything else out. But about 15 minutes in, I hear a familiar voice that brings me to a halt. I know because I seem to tense every time I hear this voice: Sora.

"Yeah, I'm here at the park with him."

Pause.

"I know, I know, I miss you too Ryo-chan, but he was begging to spend time with me. I already don't spend much time with him as it is,"

Pause.

"He'll get suspicious! Please… don't get weird. You know I love you, baby."

Pause.

_Eh? Did I just hear…_

'We will be together one day, I know it. But for now, you'll have to wait."

Pause. Laughter.

_Sora? Cheati…_

Fury builds up in my chest so fast I think I might have a coronary.

"Once the new line comes out, and once it's backed by one of the biggest celebrity couples in Japan, then we can be together. But as of now, I need to wait until we're married a few months."

Pause. My blood really starts to boil now.

"You know why! Just trust me, alright love? Once I'm through, we can retire to a nice island in the Pacific and manage the business together. I promise you. Meanwhile, I'll pull some strings, he'll look like a complete jackass, and no one will be the wiser."

Pause.

"Oh, please. He won't. He's way too in love with me to suspect anything. Seriously. He's completely air-headed and won't know what hit him. I can probably make Mimi look guilty about something in here too,"

_What. The. Fuck._

"Alright… well, I really miss you too… how are things in Milan? Oh good, we'll be able to stargaze then… and, uh, maybe catch up on some _other_ things too."

Laughter.

"Alright… I love you too. Only two weeks, alright? Don't worry, I'll be fine. Bye honey" the voice says, and the phone closes.

That. _Bitch_.

I could shoot her right now. How _dare_ she?! How dare she do that to Yama!

For a moment, I'm breathless.

Then, in a moment of blunt stupidity, I stepp forward.

"I can't… believe you!" I say coldly. She turns around, eyes wide.

"Mimi! What are you doing here?!" She asks, her voice shaking a little with surprise.

"I can't believe you'd _do_ that to him! How dare you… he's completely in love with you, and you're... you're _using_ him!" I rage. She looks scared, but keeps her cool. I want to deck her.

"Mimi, it's not what you thin-"

"Bullshit! I heard the whole thing, you bitch!" She suddenly smirks.

"And why should you care? You hate him. You hate him and nothing would bring you more pleasure than to see him hurt. So why should you care?"

"It's not right!"

"And that is supposed to bother me how? It's _business_, honey. Sometimes people have to get hurt. And unfortunately, he's enough of a softie. Pity, too. He's awfully cute. And amazing in bed, I might add." She bites her lip. My heart I now pounding in my chest "But I suppose to you, me hurting him would just wreck you, seeing as you're so in _looove_ with him," she smirks, fear now gone. I gasp, and my eyes widen to what must be the size of saucers.

"What?" I ask shakily.

"You heard me. Yeah, I know. I know all of my models inside and out, Mimi. Don't think you're immune. Did you know Kaori is a lesbian? She secretly wants you, but she hasn't come out yet. And Irina… she's a dominatrix on her nights off; how else would she pay for that mansion? She sure as hell doesn't make enough with me to pay for that and her coke habit! Not that she'd even let anyone know, because she's so quiet. But I can tell you anything you want to know about any of the other models, and it's been quite obvious to me that you want _my_ fiancé." She says simply.

I glare at her. "Just you wait until the world discovers you are a manipulative, cheating liar… your career will be ruined,"

"Oh really? Well, if I go down, so will you. And besides, you don't want the world to find out about your love for Yamato, do you? Or the fact that you've attempted suicide 9 times? I covered it up for you, Mimi. I can easily destroy you. No one will want to work with a suicidal maniac, or one that attempts to ruin her own boss' relationship. It's your choice. Be the hero, or let your _boss_ live her life and in turn, live your own life peacefully." She smiles sweetly. I'm breathless. Before I can attack her like I desperately want to, or even let her verbally have it, another familiar voice reaches my ears.

"Sora, where are you? Oh, you're off the phone," Yama says as he appears through a bunch of trees. "Oh, Mimi," he says with an eyebrow raised. I look at him, not even trying to pretend to hate him. I love him, and I can't protect that sweet, wonderful man. Helplessness couples with my intense fury. I want to cry. I look over at Sora with such contempt. I have never hated anyone as much as I hate that… that _thing_ over there. She looks slightly nervous, wondering what I would do, but also triumphant.

"What?" he asks, rather roughly. I look back at him, my heart nearly bursting with pain. I want to tell him, but I don't want to break his heart. Besides, he'd never believe me, and then Sora would ruin my career. I regain my composure, take a shaky breath, and respond,

"Nothing… nothing, I just… didn't expect to see you here. I'd… better get going," I say, not looking at either one of them, and take off running. Tears are threatening to run down my face, and my heart feels as if it's going to burst out of my chest.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

I get bored, even with my Pepsi, and walk around to look for Sora. It doesn't take long, but I'm surprised when I find Mimi there too. But what really floored me was the look she gave me. Normally, when she sees me, she looks as if she's just seen a dead rotting animal right in front of her, and sneers some disgusted remark. But not this time; no, her look was one of… I don't really know. She obviously looked shocked, but also… pity? She looked like she was going to cry. Her face was pale and here eyes were wide. I wanted to hold her… something was quite obviously wrong. Before I could say anything other than a rude 'What?' she returned to normal, although her eyes still held so much pain, and ran off.

"What was that all about?" I turn to Sora. She smiles at me.

"Oh, she's just stressed. And I think premenstrual. Not enough sleep. So when I reminded her that she'd have to work more hours in Milan, well… she kinda freaked a bit. You know how she is… unstable." She responds. Something sounds awfully wrong with that, but I accept it none the less.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

I run and run and run, but nothing seems to rid the pain from me. I have so much to think about… do I tell him and risk the world knowing about my love for him and my suicides, and in the process, hurt him deeply, or do I keep it secret, protecting him until that moment that she wounds him herself, and continue on with my life? Either way, I'm screwed. It's either my career or living my life knowing that I let that bitch get away with this, with hurting the one I care most about on this Earth.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I do feel better, now that I've made Sora a horrible bitch.

Did you know I despise her? I do.

Even if she wasn't a husband stealing, Tai's-heart-breaking, flower-shop-hating skank, I would probably still intensely dislike her. I just… don't like her. The fact that she broke Tai's heart and took my hubby just adds to it all.

Yay!

Anyways, now that I've gotten the therapeutic part out of the way, we can get to the important part: a hot sweaty cat-fight!

Haha, just kidding.

But she's definitely got it coming. One way or another.

R&R please!


	6. Your Loving Arms

Hey there, everyone. Sorry, again, for the long time updating. I'm starting to feel this is something of an excuse. I _always_ write this before my stories. I should update sooner, I know. But senior year is very busy.

At least I've secured my college, and am getting a rather, stop me if I'm bragging, kick-ASS financial aid package. I'm very exciting.

Also, one other reason, although I'm not solely saying I haven't written because of this. Last October, my mother passed away. I'm just so glad she's finally at peace and not in any pain anymore. To anyone else out there who's lost someone to cancer, or lost anyone close to you period, I feel for you. It's difficult. But you will get through it, and you're not alone.

Hence, I picked up my life, got into a great college, kept working, and graduating valedictorian, and now I'm continuing my stories to you lovely people. I really ought to write more. It's just so therapeutical and magical.

Anyways… some shout outs to my awesome reviewers, who really should be smacking me around rather than praising me for being such a lazy bum:

**To picopico: **I can tell you right now, there' will be no drop kicking of any faces. Yet. Possibly in the future. I think this chapter's a bit of a valley before shooting up a hill.

**To yen:** Hola! Thank you very much!!

To chani-chan: I know… I like this other fan-fiction, I believe by paochi-cute (tell me if I typed that incorrectly), where Tai _is_ the other man, but I just like her writing. I couldn't make him the other man. I love Tai! He's such a goof. Reminds me of my beloved guy-friends too much. I couldn't have him be part of the evil plot. Thanks for the review!

**To M M Forever**: Haha, you and I think alike. I like her… when she's with Tai. As it should be. Not on a crack-pipe inspired trip. Lol. Thanks for the review, hope you enjoy this chapter!

**To populette**: it's enthuasiam like yours that really half inspires me to keep cranking out fiction. I like to write, so I'd probably write in anyways, but either I wouldn't publish it or it would never ever ever be finished, if I didn't have awesome readers Thank you!!

**To Aoi senshi**: Thank you! I was hoping it wouldn't be too… cliche and bubble-gummy. :D

**To Viki:** thanks for the review!!! I'm sorry for the long wait! Enjoy!

**To Alishiya**: Ha, it seems like there's a general consensus on Sora's moral character. I love it. Thanks for the review! Enjoy!

**To –Glittery Bubbles-:** lol, I just love Mimi waaay to much to ever make her a bitch. Sora… she just irritates me. I have no idea why. :P Anyways, well I do have some Soratos. Sometimes, grudgingly, I'll write them, because she just _works_ better as a character than Mimi does. In this case, I thought she just fir the 'bitch' role to a T. After I finish this fic, I'm going to attempt to finish up another Sorato I have half published. I will, I promise. :P

**To Emerald-Kisses**: Good to know… I sort of despise stories that start off slow. Maybe I'm just too dumb to appreciate a building beginning. But I like action when I read. I do hope this chapter, and the following chapters, meet your expectations!

**To unknowned**: Thank you!! I do hope you enjoy this chapter!

**To dark angel**: Aw, thanks! Hope these next few chapters hold ya!

**To Pink Blue Sasuke and Sakura**: From the reviews I got, I'm starting to think most of the Digimon fanworld does. :P

Without further ado…

Mrs. Ishida presents…

Chapter 6

I can't handle this. I need to get away. I run to Kari's apartment. I know it's small and I know I'm asking a lot of her to take me in for the night, but I need to vent. She's the only one who knows about my secret. I pound on her door. The sun had just gone down and it's starting to get chilly. Tears are running freely down my face. The door opens, and I see her tiny little frame blurrily through my tears.

"Mimi, what's wrong?" she asks. My lip quivers, and I can't help but start sobbing. She throws her arms around me, and pulls me inside. I find my way over to her couch, and she sits next to me, one arm around my shoulder.

"Mimi, what happened?" she asks, softer. I wipe away my tears and explain my problem.

"I mean, the answer should be obvious. And I really wish it were cut and dry like that. But I don't know if I could hurt Yama like that… if I don't tell him, he'll end up getting used by her, and if I do tell him, I'll have caused him so much pain, and it's not like he'd let me be there for him anyways; probably would just hate me more for ruining their relationship. And it would mean my career, and not to mention, lots of other people would be hurt by this too. People who have worked so hard to climb the ladder… You would be out of a job, and-" I say, still sobbing.

"Shh," she says, pulling me to her. She is tiny, but she gives fantastic hugs. And her apartment may not be much, but this is the most comfort I've had in a long time. "You do what you think is right. I'm sure that you won't be out of a job. And don't you worry about me… I hate working for her anyways," she says, which makes me giggle a little. "She's such a bitch," she says. I feign shock. Kari never swears!

"Kari!"

"What? You know she is… this _especially_ proves it…I really want to just… gahhh!" she said, strangling an invisible neck in front of her. I'd never seen her like this. I giggle some more.

"So would I, Kari, so would I." She smiles.

"But yeah, go with what you think is right. After all, you do have to live with yourself," she says wisely. I really admire her. She is so… weird. In a good way. You don't run into many Karis in the world. I nod.

"Now, how about I make some cocoa, and you change into some of my spare pajamas, and we watch Ocean's 11?" she suggests. Damn, she's good.

"Now how in the world am I supposed to say no to cocoa, George Clooney, Matt Damon, _and_ Brad Pitt?" (AN: _True, so true. But I own none of that. :C_)

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

I wake up with sunlight in my face and the smell of fresh coffee. I sit up, and am instantly hit by a wave of cold.

"Sorry, the management _refuses_ to have the heaters fixed," Kari walks in with a mug of steaming coffee and hands it to me. I smile, rub my eyes, and take the cup.

"It's alright." I say. She walks back into the kitchen.

"There's breakfast _a la Kari_ on the table. 5 star eggs and toast, with some miso too, if you want some," she calls out. I laugh a little. Kari's such a goof. I get up, find a bathrobe, and walk into a kitchen full of delicious smells.

"Sorry about the bed… it's probably not what you're used to," she says apologetically. I wave her off.

"Actually, that's the best sleep I've had in a long time. Really, Kari, I love your apartment. It's so cozy," I respond, sipping more coffee. This makes her grin with pride.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

"Thanks for everything, Kari, you're a lifesaver," I say, stepping out of the cozy apartment and into the cold city air.

"No problem, Mimi. Any time you need me, you know I'm here," she says. "You sure you're going to be alright?"

"I'll be fine. I've still got a lot of thinking to do, but I think I know what I'm going to do," She nods.

"Good. Well, if I don't get going here myself, I'm going to be late for my class… see you later, Mimi," she says, and before rushing past me, gives me a quick hug. I love that girl.

I start walking, in no general direction, thinking about what I'm going to do. I'm going to wait. At least until she cracks. I know Sora. Put her under enough stress, and she'll fly right off the handle. And if she doesn't crack in that time, I'm going to tell Yama. I don't care what happens, and I know he'll be in pain. But it will probably hurt a lot less than to be humiliated like he will if I don't tell. Now I just have to wait.

**Yama's POV**

Something's definitely up. Sora's acting really weird. I left my dirty shirt on the floor after last night, and she didn't even say anything. Usually she busts my ass about stuff like that, being the clean freak she is. She's biting her nails, which I've _never_ seen her do before, and ruining her pedicure. Or manicure. Whatever.

It's unnerving. It was only a few hours ago that we met up with Mimi in the park. She looked so distraught, but neither her nor Sora gave me any clue as to why. I _know_ she's not upset about the upcoming show they have to do. That's a load of bull. So what in the world could it be? And why did Sora lie to me? To cover it up?

Could Mimi be thinking about attempting again?

'_Shit…How would I know? It's not like she'd tell _me.'

Almost immediately, I start thinking about my mother's ominous words: "_Tell her how you feel… who knows, something could happen and you might never be able to…"_

The sinking feeling in my chest is suffocating. I look around for a support.

'_I have to know_.'

I wander around the apartment, looking for Sora. She's holed herself up well. When I finally find her, she's sitting in a large chair that conceals her tiny frame, with a mug of tea, with a mess of sketches in front of her. I kneel down next to her, leaning on the arm of the chair, which startles her.

"Yama! You scared me!" she says quickly, putting one hand to her chest.

"Sorry,"

"What's up?" she asks, half smiling.

"What's up with _you_?" I reply quite seriously, looking her straight in the eye. I can tell, she's having a little trouble meeting my gaze.

"Nothing," she replies, a bit weakly.

"Bullshit," I reply, still staring at her. She looks up at me, and takes a breath.

"About today, in the park-" she starts.

"Is there something wrong with Mimi?" I interrupt. She bites her lip. "Sora, tell me, is there?" My chest is still constricted.

"Yama… she…oh, I still can't believe she would do it!" she says, her eyes filling with tears as she looks away.

"What?" I ask, my voice jumping louder.

"She… she wants to split us up, so she was going to… Oh, Yama, she was going to make it look I'm having an affair, and then spread a bunch of lies around to make me sound terrible, so you would leave me!" she cries, and throws her arms around me.

It feels as if my heart just stops, for just that one moment.

'_She… what?'_

"Wha…"

'_Mimi? My… _love_… Mimi… would sink that _low?'

I can't tell if I'm shocked, furious, heartbroken, or all three. I barely even notice Sora sobbing on my shoulder.

"Are you… sure?" I stutter. She nods, still crying.

"She ran into me at the park, and just started going off on me about how she hates you and everything. I'd heard rumors from some of the other girls she was planning something horrible, and I confronted her, and she let it slip! I know she despises you, but I never thought she'd do _this_ to me! All because she hates you and wants you to suffer! I gave her a job, and made her into what she is, and this is what she does to us!" she cries, and continues sobbing on my shoulder.

I just feel empty now.

'_How could she do this to Sora? To… _me?'

"You have to promise me you won't let her know that I told you… please… I got really mad, and said some stupid things, but… I just think she's so lost… she's tried to kill her self 9 times, and she's so unhappy with her life. She just needs some help, Yama," she whispers shakily. My eye twitches a little. I take a breath.

"I promise you. And I promise I won't let anyone get between us. Ever." I say, leaning back and looking her in the eyes. She looks so hurt. My heart lurches. She can be a little bit of a bitch sometimes, but it's times like these that she shows who she really is: a sweet, kind, forgiving woman.

'_I just can't believe she would do that…how can I love that… that _bitch?!' I think, half furiously.

It's time to let this go.

That's it, I can't take it anymore. I can't take _her_ anymore. All she's ever done was hurt me, and all I've ever done was loved her from afar.

I think I really _do_ hate her now.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Mimi's POV

Wandering back to my apartment gave me lots of time to think. I've finally decided for sure: no matter what happens, I'll tell him exactly what's going on. My career can always be revamped. If she actually succeeded, I'd never be able to forgive myself. I can't believe I actually had to _think_ about this. It should be obvious: my love over my career. I've got more than enough money to last a while, so if Sora takes me down, I can ride through it all. And who says no one will want me? I am one of the greatest supermodels this world has ever seen, after all, or so Sora tells me.

Now how to go about it?

Maybe I'll just say point blank "Hey Yama, I know you hate me and all, but I want to tell you Sora's having an affair and is planning on using you so she can make you look like a fool and retire with her boyfriend in the Pacific."

Yeah. That'll go over _reeeeally_ well.

Do I tell him subtly?

How the hell do you tell someone subtly? That's an awful lot to infer about your fiancé.

I could catch her in the act of cheating?

Haha, yeah. Sure. I'll tape all of her phone calls, because that's not illegal or anything, and I'll videotape her screwing her 'Ryo-chan' in Milan. Ugh. Even if that wasn't a felony, I _still_ wouldn't want to see that. Yuck.

I guess I'll just have to go over with option numero uno. Any way I do it, it's going to suck. And he'll just hate me more, I know it. Even though none of this is my fault, I am the messenger. And I can't say that I blame him. Poor Yama. Now, more than ever, I just want to hold him and be able to be there for him. But I can't. I can't do any of that. I'll just have to be the bearer of bad news and watch his heart break, and there's nothing I can do. But it wouldn't really be different. At least if I tell him, the whole matter would be discrete. If I were to let this go on, she's make him pay, and he'd not only be heartbroken but humiliated. I'd take a bullet for this man. My career and my feelings for him are of no consequence.

Now, when to tell him?

I could go over there, but Sora's over there. Damn.

I could call him… or text him.

_Oh don't be lame. Call_.

Calling.

I whip out my phone and dial his cell. I don't think he knows I have it memorized. I don't think he knows I have it at all.

**OOOOOOOOOO**

Yama's POV

I am so enraged and feeling so betrayed right now… I had to get out for some cool air. Wandering around the streets of Tokyo is oddly calming, what with so much action and life. In the midst of my brooding over how the love of my life could possibly try to screw me over like this, my cell rings. My heart momentarily stops and my stomach drops at the sight of the screen. Mimi. Of course I have her number. I never call it. I just like having it there, and I always was half waiting for her to call me. I knew she never would, but a man could dream, no?

But what the hell now? I'm half amazed, half royally pissed off.

_Ah, what the hell_

"Hello?" I answer gruffly.

There's a pause.

"Yamato?" she nearly breathes into the phone. I can hear the tension and fear in her voice.

"Mimi." I say flatly.

There's another pause, and a sigh.

"Yamato… um… yeah… well…"

"Say what you have to say. You're wasting my battery". I cut her off. I immediately feel terrible, but why the hell should _I_ feel terrible? She's the one trying to ruin my life!

"Yamato, what say you meet me at my apartment? I have something you need to know," she says quickly. I pause.

"Why can't you just tell me now?" I reply, curtly.

She sighs.

"It's not something you need to be hearing over the phone. Please. I'm deadly serious, and I'm not messing around. I really need to tell you something because, well… I just don't want to see you get hurt," she says. Is she near tears? Even in my anger, this is still slightly gut-wrenching. Damn, I still love her, despite the fact that I know what she's about to tell me. Should I call her out now, or take the opportunity to hear her out, _then_ tell her 'bullshit'?

"Fine." I sigh. "I'll be there in about 20 minutes."

"Alright, see you then."

I hang up before she can say anymore.

Well, here we go.

Alright. I have chapters 7 and 8 done. They're a bit more… intense. Hold onto your socks people. I will try my best to get them updated in a timely manner. Please feel free to curse at me in any language you please if I don't. I deserve it. :P

Have a great day, all!


	7. Need to Feel Loved

So. You may be thinking, 'Whoa! All the chapters have titles now!'

Or you most likely didn't notice and/or care.

Lol.

Anyways, I changed all the titles because they were boring and I love electronica/techno. I have a large library or techno that fits almost anything.

It's amazing.

Techno makes my heart smile.

Anyways, I'll probably be throwing in a few line here and there from my favorite songs. I don't expect anyone to know them. I only know a few people here in the states who like techno. The rest live in Europe and don't read my sappy fics.

:P

Onward!

I know it's too soon to have many reviews, but I couldn't contain myself. The two (just kidding, someone just put up a THIRD!) who did review already probably don't mind.

Excitement.

To M M Forever: Yes, it is dun dun dun dun. However, I am not. I was just too excited that I had so many chapters done and I could just taste the ending, it was so close. :) I hope you enjoy this chapter. It picks up a bit (the pace).

To xxAlishiyaxx: Between being Mimato and Sorato, I want Yama all to myself. :P But since that's impossible, I like Mimi with Yama better than Sora. Now I'm going to attempt to control my rant, but you've hit a sore spot, lol. First, I never saw any type of connection between Matt and Sora in the first or the second season, until, all of a sudden, they were suddenly dating. Nothing before that. They hardly ever spoke directly to each other, even when they were trapped in the digital world. and after that, the only time I remember seeing them together was when everyone was congregating at that park with the younger kids,a nd they still didn't talk to each other much. Oh, and at night. But Matt had to leave, and Sora STILL didn't say a word to him. On the other hand, I noticed not only did Mimi and Matt talk quite frequently, they even continued even once she got to NY. And Tai is obviously in love with Sora. I think even when they were 11, he had a thing for her. I'm VERY Taiora. MImato is cute, but I don't really care. The only canons I truly am for is Taiora and Takari. Neither of which the producers listened to, I believe, because of illegal and hallucinogenic substances floating around in their bloodstream, clouding their judgement. And then they expect us to believe, out of nowhere that, hey, disreagrding the last few years, the last 2 seasons, how our characters interact with each other, and the fact that probably MOST of our fanbase is expecting a Taiora pairing because it actually kind of makes sense, let's just go crazy! Then, after that, as if they won't be confused enough, we WON'T have T.K and Kari together!

(phew) I totally failed at containing my rant. Sorry you had to witness that. :P Anyways, enjoy the rest of the story. I'll shut up now.

To junior472: Dude. When I was writing these things out, 2 people had reviewed, until I checked last minute, and here was your review. Sweet. Here's chapter 7 for you!

Mrs. Ishida presents..

**Chapter 7**

Mimi's POV

Well, here we go.

I convinced him to come over here. I didn't think it'd be that easy. I thought he'd protest and I'd have to tell him via phone. But he agreed. Strange.

I look at the clock. 20 minutes to go, until I really let go of the man I love forever. He's never going to love me now. Even if he did, after I tell him this bit of info, he's just going to hate me. Plain and simple.

How am I going to do this?

How will I back it up?

What if he thinks I'm just trying to separate them because I hate him?

That's very possible… Sora could've said something to cover her own ass. And in Yama's position… who do you believe? Your darling fiancé and the love of your life, or the crazy bitch who hates you and calls you an asshole every chance she gets?

The bell rings.

_Oh God. Here we go. Goodbye Yama, any chances I may have had with you, however slim they were before, are now rapidly disappearing completely. But I have to do this. I'm letting you go because I love you and don't want to see you get hurt_.

I open the door, and am greeted by Yama and the familiar flip-flop of my stomach. God I just want to hug him. Instead, I force a smile.

"Hey there, come on in," I say, and he walks past. I slowly shut the door.

_Let's get this over with_.

"So what's this you've got to tell me? I told Sora I'd only be gone for an hour or two," he says, not really looking around, and heading straight for the couch. He sits down and stares at me, waiting.

I take a breath, bite my lip, and try to formulate the gentlest way of putting it.

"Well… Yama…"

Damn. Did I just call him Yama? I never call him that.

"I…don't know how to tell you this. Now, I know you probably won't believe me, and I know you have good reason. I mean, I'm Tachikawa Mimi, and ever since elementary school we've been rivals. But I swear to God that what I'm about to tell you is completely true, and I'm telling you just because I don't want to see you get hurt." I blurt all this out in one breath, and look at him. He has the strangest look on his face. Does he believe me?

"Yama, Sora's cheating on you. I found out today. I was running, and I ran into her at the park… she was talking with some guy about the show in Milan, and how they can 'finally be together', and how she wants to use your fame and the publicity your wedding generates to promote some new line, so then she can leave you, make you look like an idiot, and retire with this guy. She told me that if I tell anyone, she'll take me down with her and expose all my past attempts at suicide and make sure no one wants to work with me ever again, but I don't care. I can't let her do this to you." I finish firmly, and look at him again. There's quite a silence. I'm trying to read his face, and coming up short. What the hell is he thinking now?

Finally, he smirks. Not the reaction I was expecting…

"Mimi, do you take me for a goddamn idiot? Sora told me everything. About how you want to split us up because you hate me so much, and how you're so… _unstable_, that this whole thing is a fucking game to you. Well, I'll tell you right now, I don't think I can forgive you. I know you hate me, and I know I've never been exactly civil to you either, but seriously; trying to spoil this for me and Sora, because you hate me and want to see me miserable? That's a new low, Mimi, a new fucking low. Now about all this bullshit… if I _ever _hear you talking about Sora like that again, I swear you'll regret it. And if you ever even talk to me again… just leave us the fuck alone, Mimi. I've had it with you."

My breath rushes out of me. I feel like he's just socked me right in the gut, then ripped out my stomach. I've felt this before, of course, but never this severely.

"But Yama-"

"Don't call me that!" he yells, and stands up. "I can't believe you! What would inspire you to do something like this to us? She gave you a _job!_ What the fuck is your problem?!" he screams at me. My mouth is wide open and my vision is starting to blur with tears.

"Yamato, please… you've got to believe me!"

"Why? Why the hell should I believe a whore like you?!"

"Because! I-" Do I dare tell him? Would it only enrage him further? He already thinks me a liar.

"Because… I just can't watch her do this to you. I know you hate me. I know. I don't care. You're a human being, and no one deserves to go through what she's planning," I sob, and look at him. He appears to calm down a bit. Silence.

"Mimi, I don't ever want to see you again. And don't talk to Sora, either, unless it's business. That's all I've got to say to you. Goodbye," he says, and starts heading out. My world is just crumbling.

"Yamato, wait!"

"I said I'm leaving!" He says, and slams the door in my face. I stop for a minute, my heart not beating, my breath not coming. Then, it all hits me. Hits me like a freight train going 200 kilometers an hour. I'm unable to breathe, and feel like I'm just a head attached to an empty, empty body. I collapse on the ground.

_What now? He thinks I'm a liar… he never wants to see me again. He truly hates me… I hate her. I fucking hate her. I've just lost my love and she's going to hurt him… I've failed. _

I lay on the ground, curled up. I can just picture myself; trying to hyperventilate, but no air is either leaving nor entering my lungs, my eyes wide open, my body trembling with sobs that are threatening to burst out of me. I must look so pathetic right now. But even in my pathetic and hurt state, I still know what to do. I still feel a sense of urgency. I still have time, and every millisecond I spend laying on the floor doing nothing is another moment that that bitch has her way and ruins his life. Ruins my love's life.

I make three resolutions: Prove to him what I know to be true, tell him how I feel, all of it, then, make my exit so he can finally live in peace. No Sora to use and abuse him, and no me to… get in his way and irritate him constantly.

For real this time. No pansy attempts. I don't want to live in a world that makes it possible for people like Yama to get so taken advantage of and used by people like Sora. I'll never be the same, I'll tell you for sure. Thanks to Yama.

And I especially don't want to do any of this anymore. No fucking way. I'm done.

**OOOOOOOOO**

Yama's POV

I think that walk was a bad idea. I'm returning home in a worse mood than when I left.

I'm still stinging from when I called her a whore and screamed at her. But the nerve of her trying to do that to me is just unbelievable!

I've got to get over this whole love for her. It's not worth it! I've got Sora, and she's fantastic… she loves me and is a lot of fun, and I can trust her. Mimi… is crazy, and she hates me, and obviously doesn't mind playing games with people.

I return home, and try not to slam the door. My back is tense and my forehead is starting to throb. I should probably calm down before one of my blood vessels bursts.

Sora's still sitting in her chair with her mug of tea.

"Yama… how are you feeling now?" she turns and asks. Her look of utter concern and worry makes my heart lurches. I walk over and wrap my arms around her, half out of want to be comforted, and half to shield her, in a way.

"Pissed as hell… she called me over there," I say. She tenses a bit in my arms. Why does she always get so tense?

"What did she want?"

"She wanted to tell me all the crap about how you're trying to cheat on me and everything. I let her have it, and told her never to call me or see me again, and to stay away from you," I say, and sigh. The thought of never seeing her again or ever hearing her voice again is depressing, even after all this. This is nearly worse than the times she's attempted to take her own life, because this time, I won't see her again, all fault of my own.

"Poor Mimi… she's so…I don't know. I just wish I could help her. I know she's trying to split us apart and everything, but she just needs some love and support in her life," she responds, and I look at her. Even after all of this Sora is still… sympathetic. It makes my love for Mimi seem foolish. I hold her tighter.

"I won't leave you. She can't touch us," I whisper, and kiss her cheek, determined. This is the way I'm meant to take. Mimi is just a foolish dream, one that wouldn't make me happy. I have everything I need, right here in my arms.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Mimi's POV

A quarter of an hour later, I'm still curled up on the floor. My tears have long since dried. It's amazing the calm that settles over you when you've just made the decision to take your own life. It's the calmest I've felt in a while, because this time I'm serious.

Now how to catch her in the act? Steal her phone?

Ha, yeah, and afterwards I can go outside and watch pigs flying. That woman is _never_ without her precious phone.

Hack into her e-mail?

I doubt that would work. I know her password, but I doubt she'd carry out the affair on her email account. That's just plain stupid.

I could ask Kari… no. I can't do that to her. I don't want to involve her in any of these plans. She'd be horrified. No. No Kari.

Or…

I could always call this guy. If it's who I think it is… that should be simple enough. Kaio Ryo. I've met him. Nice guy. He works as… something. Not quite sure what. But he is one of the few non-gay men in the fashion industry. Haha, kidding. I know quite a few.

I could call him, and pretend to be Sora, while taping the conversation. She's easy enough to imitate. All you've got to do is lower the pitch, and be a domineering bitch, and you've got Sora.

The question is, do I have the balls to do it.

Stupid question. If I have the balls to tell the man who hates me that I love him, and then take my own life, I think I can handle this.

Now about that number.

And caller ID. That's another hurdle.

Easily solved my modern technology. Thank you modern technology.

Now for the number.

How the hell do I find it?

Oh!

The invitation to Milan. My _personal_ invitation to the show. Duh. It's around her somewhere.

For the first time in 45 minutes, I get off the ground, and stand. It takes me about 10 minutes to find it, but when I do, I'm not disappointed. There's his business number and his cell.

I love knowing how the industry works. They _always_ want to be within reach. Not being within reach is like not being able to breathe.

And with my handy dandy recorder, the plan is set. Here we go.

I take a deep breath.

_You can do this. Think of Yama_.

I dial the number, set the phone on speaker phone, and press the recorder button.

"Hello?" a slightly nasaly voice asks. I fear for a second it's the wrong guy, but I remember. He had an annoying, nasaly voice. Ugh.

"Ryo-chan"? I ask in my best Sora impression, and pray that it sounds legitimate.

"Sora-chan!" he responds heartily. I mentally sigh with relief. "What's going on, baby? I thought you weren't going to call me until tomorrow, when Ishida's out of the house?" he asks, a little surprised. Damn.

"Well, he's out on a walk now. You'll never believe what happened today. That little slut Tachikawa overheard us at the park on the phone," I said, fearing I'd be busted at any minute.

"What?" he asks, stunned.

"I know! Then she says she's going to out me in front of the world, and she even tried to tell Yamato about it!" I say, still beyond pissed, but keeping a steady head.

"Ha! Who does she think she's kidding? She knows very well that you could put her out on the streets, and no one would believe her. What'd you do about Ishida?"

"I told him all this crap about how she's trying to split us up and how disturbed she is. He totally bought it. He's all defensive of me, told Mimi he never wants to see her again and that she should play her 'games' on someone else". Damn, it's really hard to keep my voice steady. I was determined not to cry.

"Damn. You are an amazing woman, you know that? Of course he bought it. He's a moron. But damn. That's sexy, you know… can't wait until you get here," he responds, his voice lowering and getting husky. Iw.

"I can't wait either, babe… why don't you tell me all the things you want to do to me when I get there?" I ask, mimicking his huskiness.

_Actually, please don't. I'd rather not throw up right now._

"I've already told you all that, baby,"

"Tell me again," I say as sensually as possible, still worried about getting caught. But I need this. This can make or break it.

"Well, I want to take you back to my place, and we can spend all evening, in the hot tub… I know you love it when I…" for the sake of my keeping my lunch down in my stomach, I'd rather not repeat the details of what 'Ryao-chan' would like to do to me in that hot tub with various objects and parts of his body. It disgusted me beyond belief. I wouldn't want _Yama_ to do half of this to me, let alone this creep. "…I get all those spots on your back and neck, and make love like there's no tomorrow… then get up in the morning and do it all over again. I just can't wait to have those mile-long legs wrapped around me and those hands of yours _all_ over… and just thinking about how you know exactly how to use those lips of yours…" he replies. Ugh. I shiver. This is disgusting. This guy's voice makes me picture a toad. A fat, warty, slimy toad. But it's perfect. "Sora-chan, how many more days?"

"Not many. But still, too many," I say, using one of her favorite quotes. He chuckles.

"Mmm. Too many is right." I Sora-giggle.

"Baby, I've got to go. Yama's back".

"Alright, I love you, babe,"

"Love you too," I say, smirking.

"Bye". He hangs up. Damn. I am good. I am beyond good. I am amazing.

"Perfect", I say to myself.

Now to get it to him. If I go over there, he'll have me arrested. If I call, he'll hang up.

Guess I'll just have to email it.

Writing my explanation, I mentally prepare for all of this. He checks his email nightly. By the time he'll get it, I'll have taken the entire bottle of sleeping pills I have, and be well on my way out of this world. Which leaves no time to tell him how I feel.

_Which is what a note is for, dummy_.

Ah yes, a note.

Sending, sending, sending.

Message sent.

Now to get to work hammering out my final statement.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Yama's POV

Sora's sleeping right now, but I just can't. This whole day has to be one of the worst of my life.

I feel restless and anxious. For what, I don't know. I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to be wandering around the condo, but don't feel like sleeping.

Maybe I'll just go check the e-mail.

I log on, and see, out of the 30 something new messages I have, one sticks out like a sore thumb. Mimi.

Again, my heart lurches and sinks at the same time. A caress and a slap. What the hell does she want now??

I roll my eyes, and click on it. There's an attachment. A sound file.

What is this?

It reads:

_Yama:_

_I know things didn't go well earlier. I didn't expect them to._

_I know you never want to see me again, or hear from me again. I accept that and I won't ever see or talk to you again. I'm making sure of that now._

My stomach drops and my breath immediately stops. What does _that_ mean?!

_But before I go about never contacting you again, I want you to know, I promise you, I don't want to hurt you, and the only reason I told you what I did was because it's true. I wouldn't make up something like that, no matter how much you may think that I hate you .You deserve to know, and I know it'll hurt either way. But I didn't want to add supreme humiliation to the bad news. I have proof. This recording is of me and her lover on the phone… I've been around her long enough to know exactly what she sounds like. Listen to it, and please please _please_ make the right choice. I'm to have to tell you. But you just had to know._

_I know pretending to be someone else is probably a felony of some sort, but that won't matter soon._

_Goodbye, Yama .Please try to rise above all this, and stay golden. You're a good man._

_-Mimi_

My heart stopped.

What does she mean it won't matter?

Proof?

What the hell is going _on??_

I click on the link.

Immediately, I hear Mimi, doing a near perfect imitation of Sora. She wasn't kidding.

And some other guy… Ryo-chan? Who the hell is Ryo?

And it all becomes clear. Mimi was telling the truth. Sora was lying, and Mimi was right. And Mimi…

Oh shit, Mimi!

'_I accept that and I won't ever see or talk to you again. I'm making sure of that now.'_

What the fuck is she planning??

Despite my feelings of hurt and betrayal.. and… _fury_… with Sora, I jump up and run out the door. My love is in terrible danger, and I may already be too late.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Wow.

It seems that Mimi needs to feel loved.

I hope Yama doesn't let her fade away. She just needs to belong, and he needs to pray for her, awake before she's down.

Alright, enough song cryptics.

Anyone who knows what song I'm referring to gets my eternal props. You have incredible music taste, my friend. No cheating, either.

: )

**OOOOOOOOOOOo**

Pick out the quote!!

It's from a song called Ecstasy. No, not the drug. The feeling.

Anyways, I have nine done, and chapter 10 in progress. No worries. I can feel the end of this. I know what I want to write. It's just a matter of writing it all down.

Until later, y'all!


	8. Satellite

Wow, I'm so happy!

I went from 33 reviews to 40-something.

That does make me smile.

Anyways, I don't think this was a long wait at all. Like I said, I'm excited that I have so much written out. I usually don't. And I'm almost done with the story.

Here are my shout outs to my awesome reviewers:

**To M M Forever**: I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. It'll get faster, although the beginning of 10 is a little slower, I have to admit. Anyways, thanks for being the first reviewer. _Right_ on that, aren't we?

**To tinkerbella11:** I have to send a shout out to you just for making up about a quarter of my reviews. :P Thank you for the enthusiasm!! I'm so glad you like the story so far, and I hope you love chapter 8! FYI, I think Yama's mom is my favorite character.

**To junior472:** Why, I thank you so much! Enjoy chapter 8! : )

**To Pan-kuzu**_**: **_I agree. I might not have had _such_ (read: _such_) a problem with her, if it didn't look like she kind of had a thing for Tai. Anyways, you can count on regular updates, for a while. I'm on a writing binge, because my drive to write finally came back to me. Amid AP Testing, of all times. :P Anyways, thanks for reviewing, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Ch. 8

Mimi's POV

There we go… the letter's all done.

Good.

Now where is that bottle?

They better be as fast acting as they say they are. My last 9 attempts have always been intercepted. I don't want anyone to bother me this time.

The phone rings.

Oh well.

I walk into the bathroom, pull out the bottle, and waltz into the kitchen. Oh boy, cranberry juice. My favorite. What a way to go.

And again, the phone. Too bad, so sad, whoever's calling will have to make due without old Mimi.

Then, tipping my head back, I slowly but steadily empty every single pill into my mouth, and wash out the nasty taste with some juice. Now, where to position myself? Should I just fall on the floor, or should I go out gracefully, on the bed, a la Marilyn?

Or, I could go the Elvis route. Haha, no. Not doin'.

I put the juice on the counter, and place my note out in the open. Right on the table, in plain sight. A blind man couldn't miss it. I read over it one last time, and smile, thinking about how I won't have to go through any of this any more. My spirits, oddly, lift a little.

Final moments are fantastic, aren't they?

And again, the phone rings. Who the hell is trying to disturb me?

Whoa.

When those manufacturers say fast acting, they mean _fast acting_. It's only been a few minutes.

My head starts spinning and I suddenly feel as if a 100 lb. weight has been attached to my body. I stumble out into the living room, when someone begins pounding on the door. Of course, I could very well be imagining it.

"Mimi! Mimi, open this damn door!" I hear a familiar voice call out.

Yama? I can barely make sense of it all.

"Mimi! Damn it, I'm coming in!" he yells, and there's a terribly loud noise. I think he just busted down my door. Of course, I can't be sure. I can barely see straight. I just want to sleep.

"Mimi! Mimi! What's wrong?" he runs over, of course, I just see a blur, and I feel warmness all around me.

"Mimi, what have you done?"

"Yama… Yama…" I breathe out. My strength is quickly leaving me.

"Oh God…" he says shakily, and I think he's calling for an ambulance. I can barely understand what's happening. I drift in and out of consciousness.

"Mimi, stay with me! Mimi, you were right, I'm sorry… I'm so sorry! Mimi!" he yells, shaking me to keep me awake. I still have to tell him I love him. I realize I forgot to write it in the note.

"Yama… Ya…I… I…lo…"

"Mimi, what is it? What are you trying to say?!"

"I… lo…"

Nothingness.

**OOOOOOOOOOO**

Yama POV

The ambulance is taking fucking forever.

She tried it again. _Again,_ dammit! And the last things that I said to her?

Never talk to me again. I hate you.

Absolutely nothing could be worse to say to anyone under these circumstances. But I said them to Mimi, by beautiful, darling Mimi.

She's barely holding on. She's completely unconscious now in my arms, and her breathing is getting erratic. Her heartbeat is barely audible now. In this state, she looks so peaceful, but still there's an underlying… sadness.

Oh God… she could die in my arms right now. I was too late… I was too late to save her.

My life has just been ripped away from me. What if I can never see her smiling again?

I'd give anything right now just to see her jump up on her feet and call me a disgusting, worthless asshole who'd fuck his own reflection because he's so full of it.

Just then, paramedics rush in, shoo me away, and start working on her. They keep pressing me for answers to questions I can barely compute. All I can think is 'I was too late. Mimi's going to die.'.

**Later…**

They let me ride in the ambulance with her, but only after I begged and nearly started crying. Apparently, after she sent off that email, she took an _entire bottle_ of sleeping pills.

All I can think of is… Why?

Why after she told me that Sora was having an affair? My reaction must've been jolting, yes, but she hates me. She shouldn't care. I would've expected her to be _angry_ with me for not believing her, not suicidal. I would've thought she would have wanted me to suffer, after what I told her.

Standing in the waiting room is killing me. I know they're still trying to stabilize her, but I want to see her now more than anything. Mom was right… scarily right. I have to tell her how I feel. I don't care if I make a fool of myself. I may never get the chance to.

Right then, my phone rings.

Sora.

I don't want to talk to her.

But then again, I do.

I answer the phone.

"Hey." I answer coolly.

"Where are you?" she asks. I close my eyes and try to contain my anger.

"At the hospital." I reply.

"What? Why? Are you hurt?!" she asks, panicy.

"No, not that you'd care."

"What? Yama… why… why are you at the hospital? And what kind of question is that?? Of course I'd care!" She protests. I roll my eyes.

"Give it up, Sora. I know the whole thing. I'm here because Mimi attempted again. Took a whole bottle of sleeping pills. After she sent me proof of your affair. I can't believe you'd do that to me, or to her!" I yell, getting the attention of several people in the room. I better take this elsewhere. Don't want this to be the accompaniment to Mimi's suicide attempt on tomorrow's paper. I start heading out of the hot, overcrowded room.

"What are you talking about? What proof?"

"I have nothing more to say to you. She was right, and right now, she's all I'm concerned about. I'll see you tomorrow morning, and I'll get my stuff," I said calmly.

"What does that mean?"

"The engagement's off, Sora. You can go find someone else to use. I won't be one of your pet projects anymore,"

"Yama! I-" she starts, but I hang up, thoroughly disgusted.

My breath comes ragged, in and out of my empty-feeling chest. I walk even faster out of the room, hardly even seeing where I'm going. The one I thought I could trust, used me. The one I love, could really die this time. What the hell do I have left?

As selfish as this sounds, no one. I have my family, but even they wouldn't be able to mend me if Mimi were to leave this world. I have a few friends, but no one worth staying for. Not if Mimi goes.

If she… dies… what will I do?

"Follow her," I immediately answer myself, as simply as that. My love is like footsteps in the snow. I'll follow her everywhere she goes.

I wonder if she ever felt this unnerving calm before all of her attempts. Knowing there is a way out, with the ultimate 'fuck you' to fate. If fate should take away my one and only, I wouldn't sit back and take it. I'll follow her straight to hell.

I walk out into the brisk evening, the lights and people around me a flash. I still don't even know where I'm going.

Then… a brilliant flash, a piercing screech, even more earsplitting screams, a moment of intense pain, then… nothing.

Thank you, kami-sama.

Fuck you, fate.

**OOOOOOOOOOO**

If you're cool, you saw the song quote.

From a song called 'Satellite'.

You might be able to pick it out anyways… it looks just a bit odd coming out of Yama's mouth.

Anyways…. Well, you can probably guess what has happened to our beloved blond.

What does this have in store for Mimi? For Sora? Would Yama actually fuck his own reflection because he's so full of it? (ha, kidding).

Tune in!


	9. Out of the Sky

Told you guys I'd have it up soon.

: )

Still on Ch. 10, but I have it all thought out. Now I just need to type it.

Did I tell y'all I have it all planned out?

Anyways, here are my shoutouts to my reviewers (have I mentioned also how much I completely love you guys?)

**To Junior472**: Thank you!! Oh, and yes, I have made some other fics, but I think I got a review from you for Stuck in the Woods With Your Ex. Not my best, but eh, I was young. Personally, this fic and Watashi No Sekai are my favorites. Oh, and I had the sex in there… because, I thought it went with the story. I never have just _sex_ in my stories. I mean, I'm not waiting for marriage or anything (if I do, that will be cool. But all I really want is a long term, serious, loving relationship with someone I completely trust), but I think sex and love go hand in hand. Maybe not at first, but later on, they do, and the characters in my stories never just randomly have a bunch of sex with everyone else. If they do, they're in love. Except in Sora's case in SY. Because she's a stupid whore. Lol. Kidding. Anyways, Please don't kill yourself waiting for an update. That would quite ruin my day to know one of my reviewers offed themselves and it was my fault. :P

**To M M Forever: ** I know, Yama in the hospital is about the saddest thing ever (other than people kicking puppies). But yes, I do have my reasons. Drama, drama, drama. I think I write my fics like soap operas because, well, my life is boring and really, I have no drama. None of my friends sleep with each others' boyfriends, no one really backstabs, and everything's pretty… chill. Lol, it's okay. If I had time, I'd be on about 20 hours a day. Anyways, thank you, and enjoy!

**To tinkerbella11**: I always write back to my reviewers! I have to say thank you for reading my crap! Ha, kidding. But yeah, I consider it rude of me to not at least acknowledge the people who grace me with their page hits. Anyways, calmace… I didn't kill him off. I wouldn't do that. Well, if the story called for it, yes. But so far I've never had a reason to. Read on! : )

**To populette**: Thank you so much!! I'm so excited to go you don't even know. Yeah, and I figure she'd want me to get on with my life, so I did. It's a bit of a relief after watching her go through the intense pain. But she's with me, I know it. : ) Lol, you sound like me. Only my suggestion was that Sora go back to Siberia with Yuri and maybe they can hunt mammoths or turn into whoresickles together. I do hate it when my computer starts acting stupid. Mine does is quite a bit.

Anyways, now let's get on to the fic!

Hope it's juicy enough for ya.

Enjoy!

Mrs. Ishida presents…

Ch. 9

Mimi's POV

_Beep_

Eh?

_Beep_

What the…

_Beep_

I don't think that the pearly white gates… or the depths of Hellfire… are supposed to beep.

Damnit!

My body still feels weighted, both inside, and this time, out. My eyes are still a little heavy, but not so much as that I can't open them and see if I've landed in Hell on Earth: the hospital. Again.

At first, everything is blurry. But blindingly pastel and sterile.

It's worse than Hell. The hospital.

Great, Tachikawa. You fail. You fail at the high school literary test, you fail at saving the love of your life from the biggest pain and humiliation he'll ever suffer in his life, you fail at delivering karma to that evil spawn-of-Satan known as Takenouchi Sora, and you even fail in taking your own damn life.

Ladies and Gentleman, I think we have a new world record. The literal failure at life.

_Beep_

Will someone turn that damn machine off? Obviously, I'm alive, and I'm not about to try and make a mad dash for the freeway. The press is alr… oh damn. The press.

They're going to be all over this. And Sora's not going to cover it up this time. Why would she?

She'd love to get me to look as insane as possible, just in case any of her evil schemes should go in the least bit awry. She's always so careful. With _everything_.

My career.

Gone.

My love.

Gone.

My credibility.

Gone.

My life.

Still here. But shot to hell.

Awesome.

I take a look around. This place is starting to feel like home.

Heart rate monitor, 'comforting' matching sheets, a nice wooden stand, blinding fluorescents.

Maybe I should just commit myself. Get up now, and ask to be committed. Then no one will expect me to live up to anything anymore, except to be absolutely fucking insane. That'd be nice. I feel absolutely fucking insane.

I look down at my hands, folded neatly across my lap. Saintly, almost. I snort. They look so perfect, so unmarred by anything. Just perfectly, lily white soft skin, accented by perfect manicured nails. This must be how the world sees me. Perfect. Not a scratch. Perfectly maintained, pampered, and ideal.

It almost makes you wonder if emotion could physically manifest itself… if you just cut me, would you be able to take a look inside and see scorched, destroyed ruins of something that used to be so wholesome and pure?

Just then… a face I actually don't mind seeing. And simultaneously, I wish I'd never see again, out of pure shame.

Kari.

She was never very good at hiding her emotions, and this time, she failed miserably.

It's obvious she had been bawling her eyes out probably no more than 20 minutes ago. Her shockingly red eyes are just filled with tears, and her makeup is streaming down her face. It's heartwrenching to see her like this. Kari, of all people, the definition of compassion.

"Oh, God… Mimi!" she cries and runs over to grip me in a rib crushing hug.

"Kari…" I gasp.

"Sorry," she chokes apologetically, then releases me and sits on the bed. The sadness in that poor girl's face…

"Mimi… why?" she manages to say after a moment of looking at me, as if trying to see into my mind by studying my face. Her voice stays relatively steady, but her lower lip betrays her.

"Kari… I failed...." I say, my own eyes welling up at the thought of what that whore would do to Yama. The thought pierces my heart like a ragged knife.

"Failed?" she asks, puzzled.

"I told him what Sora's up to… he basically told me he hates my guts, he didn't believe me, and to never ever see him again. I couldn't live with that… So I figured I'd just take myself out of this world before I could ever bother him again," My chest is filling again with the great, crushing pain…. That pain that always seems to keep me company.

Upon hearing this… Kari makes quite the face. First… split second shock.

Then, insurmountable pity.

Pity? She feels bad because I couldn't kill myself?

"He told you he never wanted to see you again?" she asks quietly. Too quietly. This isn't the way she'd ask if she just felt bad for me.

"…Yeah…" I say, my heart rate starting to pick up.

She takes a very audible breath, and looks as if she's going to say something. Then decides against it. Her lower lip, once again, gives way to a tremble.

What is going on?

Did Sora do it?

Already?

"Kari, what's wrong?" I ask. A million possible outcomes enter my head. She simply stares at me, the same distressed look on her face. I know that look well. She has something to say, but doesn't want to say it.

"Kari, come on! What's going on?" I demand.

"Mimi…" she says quickly, and bites her lip. Looking away, she adds, "Yamato… well, he…" Uh oh. She said 'Yamato'. She calls him 'Yama' when with me. She's being professional. Not a good sign…

"He what?" I urge, my voice jumping an octave.

"Well, you've been out for about a week, because I guess the amount of pills that you took really hit you hard, and I guess the night you tried to…" she paused, trying to maintain her composure," the night you tried to kill yourself, he confronted Sora or something, and got really mad about it out in the waiting room, and headed outside, and he was probably pretty distressed… so he didn't really see the car tha-"

"Car?" I choke.

No.

Dammit, no.

There's no way that that amazing, beautiful, incredible man could… My eyes widen, and I can feel the blood draining from my face.

"He's still alive… but he's in really serious condition… Mimi, I'm so sorry!" she said, her carefully controlled voice finally cracking as she wraps her arms around me again. I don't respond, still in shock.

My Yama?

Could… die?

I can't see a thing… all that's going through my head is…

"I have to see him" I whisper. Kari stops her sniffling.

"What?"

"Now. I have to see him" I say, as I start to shake her off and get out.

"Mimi, you can't… you have to stay in bed! You just overdosed on a ton of me-"

"I don't fucking care! I need to see him!" I'm being so horrible to her, I know. But it's an emergency! I start to get off of the bed, trembling as I do, half from the reverberating effects of the massive amount of chemicals I'd ingested, half from shock.

"Mimi!"

"Take me in a damn wheelchair, then, if you're so worried! But let's go!" I must look like a madwoman, demanding to leave, with my hair probably all over the place and a thousand needles in my arm.

"Um…. Okay" she agrees reluctantly, and heads for the hallway to get a wheelchair.

"Whoa, what are you doing, miss?" a nurse who walks by asks of Kari. Dammit. I don't have time for this.

"I need a wheelchair…for my friend," she stammers.

"Your friend… ah, Miss Tachikawa. The model," he says, eyeing me trying to decide whether to let me go. I can almost hear his thoughts: 'The crazy bitch who tried to kill herself. In this hospital. Cool!'

Play it cool.

Diplomacy always scores pointage.

"Please… I need to go see someone… I just found out a dear friend of mine has been in a horrible accident… I need to see him," I say as politely as I can.

"Ah yes… Ishida Yamato… I just found out about that right after we got you in. What are the chances of our hospital getting two mega celebrities in the same night?" he asks, star struck. It's all I can do to keep from grabbing the nearest heavy object and beating him with it.

"Please, can I just go see him?" I ask through clenched teeth.

He snaps out of his reverie. "I think he's still comatose, but from what I hear, his mother is here. If you want to go see her… I'm not sure you do… from what I know, you two never were really close". He chuckles.

I'm about this close to taking that big grin of his and ripping it off of his stupid face. The nerve of this arrogant prick! My love is teetering on the verge of death, and all he can do is chuckle at his amazing luck to run into a couple of celebrities.

I stare at him icily.

"But if you want to, go ahead. Just make sure to keep all this" he motions towards the drip "in place," he says, and strolls on out.

I take a deep, calming breath.

Alright. I made it through without ripping that douchebag's head off.

Sweet.

I'm definitely going to report that asshole.

"Kari, let's go," I say to the tiny woman before me.

And off we are to see my love.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

The waiting room isn't crowded. At all. Actually…

It's just his mother, and me.

Ha. The bitch isn't even here at her fiance's side. She's probably at her giant condo right now, calling her dear Ryo-chan. Or eating babies.

His mother looks at me.

I expect loathing to the extreme to be dripping out of her.

Rather, her eyes show mild annoyance and surprise to see me, in addition to the pain and suffering she must be experiencing now, naturally. She has herself a little more composed than Kari, but not by much.

"Mimi" she says, a bit stiffly. Too surprised to really be rude.

"Mrs. Ishida." I reply quietly.

"I thought you were at death's doorstep?" she asks half sarcastically, furrowing her eyebrows.

_You probably wish. I know I do._

I shrug.

I hear Kari softly clear her throat.

"Um, I'm going to… go take a walk outside… you know I don't like hospitals very much…" Kari mumbles, nods at Mrs. Ishida, and ducks out of the room.

"Mimi… why are you here? Surely it's not coincidence and you've heard about my son," he voice breaks on the last word. A single tear rolls down her cheek.

My throat starts burning and closing up, as my eyes fill with tears too.

"Mrs. Ishida… I'm so sorry…" I say, my voice starting to crack.

She looks at me, analyzing me through her own pain.

"For me as a mother, or for the way you've always felt about and treated my boy?" she asks gently. Not an accusation. Simply a question.

I stare at her a moment, not bothering to put the mask on. I let my anguish shine on through.

"Both" a whisper.

No.

Should I tell her?

He might die.

If he does… I want someone to know. The truth.

Screw everything that's held me back.

What's his mother going to do? Sell my story to the press for millions?

Right.

I may not know a lot of things but I do know that the woman that raised Ishida Yamato is a great woman. I have met her a few times before this. She would never do that to me.

I take a deep breath.

"Actually" I continue, "That's only half right. I am sorry for you as a mother… this must be so difficult… And I am sorry for how I've treated him. But I'm not sorry for hating him," I say. A look of indignation crosses her face. Before she can say anything, I quickly add, "I never hated him,".

Her look immediately softens, and grows rather puzzled.

My lower lip quivers, and I look away.

"You asked me why I'm here, and… I… well, I just wanted to see him. I wanted to see him and be by his side and hold his hand and everything. That may sound…strange…. To you, but… Ishida-san…. My God, if he died… I can't even imagine what I would do… my reason for being would simply vanish." I say, my voice thick with tears, my throat stinging more and more very second, and tears cloud my vision completely. I can feel her shocked eyes on my face. I can feel pure, raw emotion gathering in my chest, stronger and stronger, every moment. I sniffle and continue, "I mean…Yamato… Yama… is everything a man should be. He's considerate and kind, loyal and trustworthy, supportive and honestly the most pure person I've ever met! I don't mean pure as in… physically or anything like that, but he's just… himself. He is what he is, and he likes who he likes, not for any personal gain and never to play any kind of game or for any manipulative purposes, but he just…is so honest and true, almost to a fault. He can be such an ass sometimes, but usually its because he's seeing something wrong in you and is trying, in his own way to help you… and he would never betray you or do anything to hurt you… Ishida-san, he's the brightest spot in my life right now, I swear… and if he were to leave me… especially after all those years I acted like I wanted him to fall off the face of the Earth-" I sob, but her quiet voice interrupts me,

"Acted?" she asks, sounding quite shocked. I look at her, still weeping, and solemnly nod.

"I could never tell him... That… that I love him more than anything else on this planet. It would be too… pathetic. I mean… he despises me, and with good reason, the horrid wretch that I am… so I've always had to act like I hated him too, so I could keep up with appearances and not look like some stupid fangirl. But nothing could be farther from the truth… I'd do anything for that man, anything, and now, I can't even protect him from his own fiancé…. And if he dies without me ever getting to tell him how I really feel…if he leaves me thinking that I just hated him completely…because of my damn pride and concern for my career… I don't even know how I would…" I blubber, and completely break down. That thought is just too painful to even put into words. As I continue bawling into my hands, I know she's looking at me. How, I don't know… but then I feel a warm pair of arms around me and hear a separate set of sniffles in my ear.

"Oh, Mimi…" she says, as she embraces me. This time, I hug her back with all my strength as we cry in each others arms. "I never knew… If I would've known… oh God…"

We continue to just weep together for a few more minutes.

We must look rather pitiful. But it takes a great weight off my shoulders. I feel amazingly better, as circumstances allow.

"Wait," she says, distancing herself from me to look into my eyes, "What was that part about his fiancé?" she asks. "Is that why she hasn't come to see him?"

Uh oh.

She doesn't know.

Oh boy.

I mentally steel myself.

"Well… um…" I begin.

I'm in for a long night.

**OOOOOOOOOOOO**

So.

As we near the ending (hold your horses, I've still got a few more chapters left in this baby), I have to tell you what I remembered while I was out running.

Don't ask me how I suddenly remembered. I think it was because the song I was listening to was purple and a bit orange (again, if you're not familiar with synesthesia…), and then I remembered the dream.

I had a dream once about two people in a high story fancy apartment, that were in love with each other, but didn't know it, and the whole dream was them telling each other how they felt. The funny thing was, they weren't a model and a singer. They were two basketball players on opposing teams.

And after all the declarations of love and such, there was the sex.

Lol.

But I woke up and I just loved this dream, and I knew I had to write something on it, so that's where Secretly Yours came from.

Ha, sounds a bit like what Stephenie Meyer did with that crack in book form, Twilight.

I'm way too obsessed with that series for my own good.

Team Edward!

Ha, anyways.

I just had an interesting thought. I should like Sora. She's a redhead. I like blonde men, obviously, and usually the women I'm attracted to are redheads. However, not in this case.

Interesting.

Sorry for rambling. I'm on cold medication and a restricted air flow!

And graduation is a mere 4 weeks away.

YIPPEE!

I'll try to have this updated soon.


	10. Touch the Sun

Alright, sorry for the delay. This week was hectic. Next week will be even moreso. This week was AP Test prep, then next week is the actual thing. The cause of my nausea, stomachaches, headaches and stress all year long. And I have 4 to take, one on Monday, 2 on Tuesday, and one on Thursday. Then after that is Prom.

Oh boy, I can't wait for Prom. (sarcasm dripping out of ears)

Let's just say my former date proved to be a bit of a douchebag.

Anyways, so I'll post this, and hopefully have chapter 11 up mid week or after prom. Sorry if this chapter's a bit unfocused. I promised regular updates, and I'm trying to stick with that. After AP testing is done, from the 10th until August should be smooth sailing.

Tell me if it sucks. Truly, don't hold back your anger at my sucky chapter.

:P

Here are my thank you's to the peeps who put up with me.

**To M M Forever**: Yay! Well, thank you, and I do hope you like this chapter..

**To populette**: Honestly, that was my favorite line too. I got it from me and my friends, when there was this girl who was my boyfriend at the time's ex, and she wasn't being too nice to me. We said she ate babies. Ironically, me and my ex are kind of on weird terms, and now me and her are sort of friends. Lol. Anyways, thank you! And have you read _The Host_? I finished it in two days. Nothing like Twilight, but it still owned.

**To junior472**: I'm very glad. Hopefully this will sustain you until after the Week from Hell is over. Ugh. AP Testing Why am I such a good kid? It's a pain in the ass sometimes.

**To Mimi-Tachikawa-Ishida**: I love doing that! Finding a story that compels me to read it, and I'm just looking at the clock as it gets later and later, thinking, 'I should get to bed, but I'll go after this next chapter'. Love it. I'm glad. That's such a compliment to me. Enjoy!

Let's get on with the fic!!

Mrs. Ishida-to-you presents…

Ch 10

Mimi's POV

Needless to say, Mrs. Ishida is pissed. Royally. It's quite a sight. I didn't know such a small and seemingly non-threatening person could harbor so much rage.

"What a…I don't even… she was going to _use __my son__ for publicity?!?_" she manages to say through clenched teeth. I think it's definitely taking some effort on her part to keep from hitting something. Namely Sora.

I nod solemnly, the outrage building once again inside of me, too.

"I can't believe what he told you…" she shakes her head, and looks at me, "I am so sorry Mimi. For everything. For everytime he's hurt you, for everything you've had to experience, and especially for what he said to you. But you know him, he's loyal to a fault to the people he loves," she looks at me quite endearingly. Since I proclaimed my love for her son, our relationship seems to have done a 180.

I smile.

"I know. It's a strength and a weakness," I reply, quietly. Once of my more favorite traits of his, even if it has backfired on me. She smiles weakly back at me.

"Well, I know you have your career and whatnot to worry about. But don't worry about his reaction to you. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised if you tell him. He's quite open-minded, you know," she says.

Pleasantly surprised?

You mean he _wouldn't_ laugh in my face at the pitiable truth?

The question must show on my face.

"Just tell him. You never know when you could lose somebody," she says, her voice struggling not to break. I bite my own lip, trying not to cry.

I should tell him.

If I have the nerve to attempt to kill myself and expose Sora's plans to the world, I have the nerve to tell the man I love how I feel about him, and always have.

I think.

It's ridiculously terrifying. I already know I'm going to be rejected. That's a given. I never expected to get anything out of telling him except for the knowledge that I was honest with him and he would know the truth.

So what am I afraid of?

Looking like a moron?

Exposure?

What?

"He'd never speak to me again." I say, flatly.

That's it. As long as I hate him, publicly and privately, I have an excuse to talk to him, to openly recognize him, to have contact with him. It was all a lie, but if verbally abusing each other was the only way I'd be able to see him, I'd gladly call him a stupid jackass. If I told him how I felt… he'd hate me, I wouldn't hate him, and things would just get awkward. Not angry. Worse. Awkward.

Mrs. Ishida, weakly smiles again.

"I'd have to disagree. Just trust me on this one,"

I raise one eyebrow.

"Really, Mimi. A mother knows her son better than he thinks. I know, he wouldn't ignore you forever after. Just tell him. You don't know if you'll get the chance, and then you'll always be left wondering what would've happened." Her face lightens slightly. I look into her gentle eyes, and all fears of him leaving me completely vanish.

Suddenly, a small nurse appears seemingly out of nowhere.

"Ishida-san, you can come in now," she says warmly, and Mrs. Ishida rises. A sudden thought occurs to me:

_Oh yeah, I forgot. What is she doing out in the waiting room?_

The question shows on my face.

"I always get here too early. I know the visiting hours, but I just can't _help_ but arrive early. My boy is in there," she says half jokingly, but sadness is plainly visible on her face. The nurse looks at her comfortingly.

"Yama's very lucky to have you, Mrs. Ishida," I reply. She smiles and looks at me.

"I'm a mother, dear. It's in my nature to be slightly overbearing and in a constant state of worry,"

We follow the tiny nurse down a brightly lit, cream colored hallway.

_Very true._

Which brings me back to now. The Whore still isn't here.

I don't think she's been here, either. Before I can ask where she is and whether my fist or the IV station would be better to beat her into a pulp with, we arrive at his room. My entire body tenses in preparation for what I might see.

The room is a little darker, half lit, it seems. There's some show on the television on, I'm guessing for the other occupant of the room, but I have no idea what it is. I'm so stressed it doesn't even seem like they're speaking a coherent language.

And there he is, covered with dull grey blankets, his beautiful face obscured by tubes and medical tape and whatnot. I can hardly even see a bit of his hair, it's lovely gold color hidden under layers of grayish bandages. There is my love, half hidden away by dull covers and plastic. My heart lurches the moment I lay my eyes on him.

"He's been here about a week," Mrs. Ishida says quietly. I can feel her eyes on me, as I just stare at him. Barely alive. I make my way over to him, slowly, as I'm half frozen in place by the sheer misery of the situation.

I'm not aware that I'm holding my breath until I feel a dull ache in my chest, barely camouflaged by the ache caused by all of this.

Taking a seat, I can't hardly blink.

"Yama," I whisper, my voice again growing thick.

"I'll give you a moment," the woman behind me says, and before I can even register her words, quietly exits.

"Yama…" I repeat, faintly, at a loss for words. Where do I even begin? I want to tell him everything and anything that comes to mind. It doesn't even matter that he can't hear me. I look down at his hand, his pale, motionless hand, one of the few bits of him left uncovered and bare. I cover it with my own hand. It has surprising warmth.

"Yama, I need you. More than you can ever imagine…. Please… don't leave me," I whisper, stumbling the whole way through. "I love you… so much… I'm so sorry for lying to you and being so evil to you… I need you here with me!" I say, the words rushing out of my mouth as if the intensity of my pleas will bring him back to health. I know it won't. Nothing will, except a miracle.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_There's two ways to go…_

_One is much like struggling out of thick, muddy waters with no idea which way is up or down, and your lungs are filling up fast with sludge. The other way is simply curling up on a feather bed with a thick comforter, and falling asleep._

_I think the choice is rather obvious. Comfy bed, here I come!_

_Wait._

_Wha… that sounds familiar. Very familiar. A voice… sounds like its crying. Who's that crying? And why is he? She? She, definitely… crying?_

_Why do I feel so…_troubled_ all of a sudden? Who is that?_

'_Yama, I need you'_

_This sudden sense of… purpose. Like I _shouldn't _go the easy route. I _want_ to, but I think I have something to do still._

_What though?_

'_I need you here with me!'_

_The urgency in that high pitched…_

_Mimi._

_Of course._

_Where the hell am I that clouds my memory so badly?_

_Mimi needs me. What the hell am I doing, taking a nap?_

_I'd go through the nine circles of hell for that woman. Muddy water is nothing._

_Hm._

_Might take me a while, though…_

_Never matter._

_I'll be there._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The tiny nurse walks back in, hopefully oblivious to my bright red eyes and distress.

"I'm sorry, I just need to check these bandages…" she says, and leans over him, unwinding the dressings over his head. His unruly golden hair springs out immediately, but they don't fully cover the large gashes that run across the side of his head. I can't help but gasp.

"It looks a lot worse than it is, honey," the nurse says soothingly to my reaction. "We're more worried about brain damage… I doubt that these injuries will scar much at all. In fact, I think I can safely remove them…" she mutters to herself as she takes all of them off. I have to smile a little. I want so badly to reach out and run my fingers through those locks…

"And goodness, I should take these blankets off… he's running a small fever," she murmurs, pulling the dreary covers off of his body and pulling the clean white sheet half down.

"Alright, I think that's it… sorry for interrupting," she says apologetically and scurries out of the room.

I look back at him, wondering if by some miracle he'd heard me.

I doubt it.

My confession probably just fell flat. He's lying here, half dead already, and there's nothing I can do about it. I tried so hard, and my love is still going to leave me, while kami-sama still sees fit to keep me alive.

It makes me wonder… exactly what the hell _is_ that?!

-**Later that week-**

It's amazing… they've decided to let me go free.

Every other time I've been here, I've been imprisoned within those sickeningly pastel walls, yearning for the day I could finally breathe the polluted city air once again.

This time, they just let me go. After almost 2 weeks.

Maybe they figure that since I've been here so many times before and always, physically, at least, bounce back, letting me go out into the world while my ticking time bomb depression bides its time again until I retry it, it's fine to let me go free.

Whatever floats their boat. Even a suicidal, depressive maniac would rather be free than boxed in.

Ah, just look at that sun… it's so much better seeing it from the outside than from tinted windows.

I walk out of the glass doors, sunglasses on and hoodie ready, just in case any paparazzi are waiting in the bushes to ambush me. It wouldn't surprise me if a few had been lying in wait all 2 weeks. I don't particularly feel like being attacked by journalist gnats, and I really hope none bother me. I think if I had to deal with them now, I'd soon be looking at assault charges.

But just as I take 5 steps out the door, who do I see but…

"Sora?" I snarl, incredulous.

What the hell is _she_ doing here? 2 weeks and she finally decides go to see her Intended. He wouldn't want to see her now. She must know that. A flash from behind her momentarily draws my attention… oh, that's it, is it?

The press has to have noticed that Takenouchi Sora hasn't visited her love yet in the hospital… she's got a reputation to maintain.

She stops upon seeing me, her usually calm and calculating eyes momentarily betraying shock.

_That's right, I'm still alive_.

My eyes narrow. Her face regains composure. Another flash.

"Mimi," she says, calmly. I force calm breaths.

"Sora," I reply, coldly.

"I'm glad to see you're back on your feet," she says fakely, throwing me a half smile. "You don't know how much I've missed you,"

"Oh, I'm sure I can guess," I say, trying my hardest not to add, "Had you have known that's what I was gonna do, you would've shoved that bottle down my throat yourself,"

She totally would have.

A moment of awkward silence, and another flash.

Seriously, do they think they're being inconspicuous? If he hasn't approached us yet with a multitude of questions, it's because he thinks we can't see him.

Ha. Sora _always_ knows when someone's watching her.

"So, you've finally decided to visit your dear fiancé, have you?" I ask, mockingly. She stiffens a little.

Yes.

"I've been out of the country with business and whatnot, and it wasn't until yesterday evening I've been able to come back… or else I would've flown back the moment I heard.

I can't help myself.

"Bullshit," I snort. She looks taken aback. There are cameras watching, after all.

"You think I wouldn't be worried about my own fiancé when he could be… dying?" she asks, faking insult and hurt. It takes all my self control to not roll my eyes.

"You and I both know your priorities, Sora. Besides, you missed visiting hours." I am trying so hard not to deck her perfect face right here and now. I don't want her going within 100 miles of him, especially when he can do nothing about it. She smirks a little.

"Oh Mimi, I do wish you the best in recovery. I trust you won't do anything… stupid…after all, you have your career and your life to worry about. You wouldn't want either to abandon you." She replies, still smirking slightly. I catch on to her substitution of 'life' to mean 'my love'.

I thrill of fear arises in me for a second. Then anger.

"Well, I'll just come back tomorrow. Maybe he just needs my loving hands, and he'll be good as new." She says, flipping her hair. I grit my teeth. "Oh, and don't forget about Milan, Mimi-chan. We would still love for you to be in the show, and it'll be good for your image." She says, infuriating me. She never calls me Mimi-chan. That's just for the cameras. And to piss me off.

Dammit, it worked, too.

I blink, shake the anger out of my head, and keep walking.

Am I really going to Milan?

I love going there, and getting paid for it isn't bad either.

Maybe I should. Get my life going again.

But what about Yama?

_Being here isn't going to keep him alive. If he's going to live, he'll live, if he's not…there's nothing you can do._

I shudder.

_You told him how you feel. That's as much as you can do. It's in fate's hands, now._

I'm going. It's only a few weeks away.

My life has to go on.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_I'm coming, slowly but surely…_

_This thick… whatever it is… is nothing…_

_I have to get out._

_I'm needed._

_All I have to do is keep pushing on. I'm not giving into that dark sleep. Not yet._

So.

Yamato is obviously still alive. What does this have in store for Sora?

I'm trying my best to keep this updated regularly.

I promise you I am.

Holy crap, I can't wait for Senior checkout

This has to be the worst year on record.

Alright, enough of my bitching.

:P

Sore ja!


	11. Desenchantee

So I'm in college now!

Whooo! You may be asking, 'Why the hell did you not update during the summer, but now are, even though you should be studying limits?'

That's a good question.

This summer was gross, and I didn't feel like writing. Plain and simple.

I have class in half an hour, no homework, and I'm bored. Hence, I'm continuing on with the next installment of SY.

: )

Anywho, my many many thanks to the readers who put up with this crap:

xxAlishiyaxx: Sorry, I don't think any Taiora will be happening... I don't have any planned, :P. this story is almost drawn to a close.

Mimi-tachikawa-Ishida: :D Sorry for the long update! And I did great, on half of them. I'm rather pleased. Anyways, enjoy chapter 11!

Junior472: yes, I did. I'm a Japanese major. I love this kinda stuff. :D Enjoy!!

Lol

Onward, minions!

Mrs. Ishida presents...

Chapter 11

Ah, Milan. It's such a beautiful place. I come here to vacation whenever I can. It's one of those places you can go to just forget about everything that's bothering you, and where you can just soak up the happiness.

Even if I am here technically for my job and with that whore. Who, after my 'tragic cry for help' came out looking like the hero to the world. After all, she is the one who found out about my severe depression, and was trying to help me for months, and was almost too late... the one who cried and cried and cried at the fact that both her 'best friend ever' and her darling fiance were at death's door in the hopsital. The one who held it all together, and still managed to get everything done on time, despite the fact that she was a wreck and didn't want to get out of bed because she was just so distraught.

Or so says her publicist.

Fact of the matter is, she visited Yama once. She then proceeded to walk outside, sobbing sliently to herself while cameras flashed and the world was watching. This is working out better for her than would using Yama. If he dies, then she'll never have to use him. He'll just be out of her hair.

I didn't know how low a person could sink, until I met Takenouchi Sora.

She hasn't spoken of him, at least not to me. She knows I'll rip her throat out. I haven't heard from Mrs. Ishida, which worries me... in the back of my mind, I'm always wondering 'what if he's gone?', which is always followed by a spasm of panic. I must keep reminding myself that I told him that I love him, I told his mother how I feel, and that if he goes... there's nothing I could have done.

It's a sick, sick conclusion.

But if I'm ever going to live my life, I can't hold on to him. It's not fair to either of us.

------------Yama's POV---------------------

You know when you're severely hung over, and the next morning, you just want someone to shoot you and get it over with?

I feel 50 times worse than that.

EVERYTHING hurts.

Ugh.

"Yama?" a high pitched voice says. This isn't helping my head.

I open my eyes, and shut them right quick. Why is that light so effing bright?

"Oh, Yama honey!" the voice says, quite loudly. I'd know that voice anywhere. Mom.

Sure enough, a thin set of arms wraps themselves tightly around me and a very familiar scent hits me: that awful cucumber stuff she loves. Definitely Mom.

"Oh, baby... I'm so glad you're alright! For a while, none of us thought you were going to make it, and the doctors wouldn't tell us anything and..."

This is all too much for me right now... my head feels like it's going to explode.

"Mom, I..."

"And then Mimi came by and-"

Eh?

"Mimi?" I ask a bit groggily. My body may be down, but I'm at full attention. She purses her lips a bit.

"Yes, Mimi. She stayed here quite a while with you. She was quite upset." she says, and grips my hand.

What? Mimi was here, and upset? She should be thrilled that I almost di-

"She's ALIVE?" I shout, and try to sit up, as that heart rate machine thing goes berserk. Mom flinches a bit.

"Calm down, sweetie. Yes, she's alive. She's out of the hospital, actually." she says, with an odd tone in her voice.

Whatever. Mimi's alive. That's all that matters.

I have to see her.

"Honey, what are you doing??" She says, as I try to move out of bed. Sharp and dull pains assault me from all over. I shudder and collapse on the bed.

"Shit. Ow. I want to see her." I manage to say through my teeth, catching my breath. She purses her lips even more.

"Yama honey, you can't just get out of bed. Do you realize how lucky you are to be _alive_?" she says, as her voice cracks on the last word. "Besides, she's gone. She's in Italy, for some show, with Sora." she continues, uttering Sora's name like the worst of curses.

Sora?

Huh. Sora. Oh yeah. My back-stabbing, conniving, treacherous ex-fiance that tried to use me and drove Mimi to attempt suicide again. That Sora.

"Sweetie.. I have something to tell you about Sora..." she says, with a look of half pity, half rage. I swallow and take a breath.

"Mom, I know. She was going to use me and leave me. Mimi told me..." I say, and immedately, the whole scene replays in my head. The screaming, the storming out, the kick in the gut as I read her letter, her nearly dying in my arms... my voice cracks.

"Oh, sweetie.." my mom says, her voice cracking too, as she pulls me into a bear hug. "I am so sorry about all this... I knew she wasn't that great of a person, but I never thought Sora would sink so low... and as for Mimi... baby, you need to tell her. You need to tell her how you feel. Just trust me on this. I swear, Yama honey, I won't get involved in your personal life, but you _need_ to tell her how you feel," she says, giving me that mom look of superior knowledge and wisdom.

"I know," is all I say. What else can I say? 'Sorry, no.. I still don't have the balls to tell her, even though odds are one day she'll probably succeed in killing herself. I'm too much of a pansy, mom'.

Just the thought of her attempting again sends chills through me, and makes me momentarily panicky to get out of this damn bed and fly to Milan to tell the woman how I feel.

Damn. I really need to grow a pair. This is more important than my stupid male pride.

* * *

Leaving the hospital is an amazing feeling. I don't know how she does it over and over again, but I am damn glad to be out of that hellhole and on my way home.

Home. Back to my condo. Jointly shared with my ex-fiancee. Hmmm.

This could be a problem. I don't want the entire world privy to our dirty laundry, but I have a feeling if I threaten Sora at all, she'll find a way to bring me down with her. She is quite the media darling, afterall. I remember when we got engaged, the media had a field day with the princess and the badboy planning to get hitched. Why I'm the bad boy, I have no idea... I play a guitar, I swear, I've been known to drink on occasion, sure. That's about it though.

But Sora's image is like her baby: she'll do anything to protect it. I've seen her in action. She knows how to work a crowd. I guess I've experienced her skills in maniplation first hand. She's a pro with working the crowd. It'll be a cinch to make me look like the asshole in all this.

I almost commend her. Almost. She played her cards quite well. I never saw anything like this coming. I don't think anyone did. If she didn't fuck me and Mimi over so badly, I'd almost give her some credit for her inner workings in all this. But not quite.

* * *

I am so sorry for the long-ass time. I can't apologize enough.

:/

chapter 12 should be up soon. But I won't fault you if you don't believe me. My track record isn't spectacular.

I'm working on it as we speak!

Hasta la later, readers!

Much 3


	12. As the Rush Comes

SY 12

Okie dokes.

Lo siento muchisimo.

I didn't mean to make y'all wait this long for chapter 11, so I'm writing chapter 12 right now. Like right after chapter 11.

The semester is almost over, and I have more time. Well, sort of. I still have portfolios to put together and physics to study and absorb, but hey. I'm no longer swamped with homework. Yay first semester of college.

Anywho, I don't have many since this is going up so soon after 11, but for those who got right on it….

M M Forever: Lol, you're the only person to review. I guess its my cosmic payment for waiting so freaking long to update. Sorry about that, mate. I do hope you enjoy chapter 12. My PROFUSE apologies for the wait. :P

And hooray for trance, which provides me many a song to name my chapters after.

FYI, Deadmau5, Above and Beyond, and Dave Aude are amazing. If you ever want an amazing trancey techno experience, I suggest taking a listen to van Buuren's A State of Trance and listening for them. They're geniuses.

:D

As of right now, I'm driving home from college. Well, my grandpa is driving. I have to say, driving home with my grandpa and dad is entertaining. They're two cranky, rude old men. It's great.

Okay.

Let's do this.

Mrs. Ishida presents…

Ch. 12

One month later- Mimi's POV

Back in Japan. Milan was so refreshing. Especially after all that… grossness.

It's been roughly a month, and as expected, the press had a field day. An d, as expected, Sora rose above it all, coming out looking fabulous as usual. She didn't destroy me. I was half surprised, until I realized what was fast approaching and what a valuable asset I would be. Moreso in my present condition. Of course she wouldn't destroy me. What with my unstable psychological condition and how she and Yama just happened to find me and save my life, together, we're generating a shitload of publicity. All good for her, of course. The fact that I'm so obviously ill yet she's still willing to work with me and take me under her designer faux-feather and gold lamé wing.

The woman is a marketing genius. How do you think she came to be so successful? Lots of skeletons in lots of closets with pretty-looking doors, that's how. And maybe a deal with Satan for her soul. I wouldn't be surprised.

But I'm alive, Yama is alive, Sora is (unfortunately) alive, and my career isn't destroyed. Yet. It's only a matter of time, though, before she takes me out. I'm now a threat.

She's already started with Yama. I can see the wheels in motion. She's going to make it look like he left because she kicked him out. She's going to run into the arms of her lover, and she's going to make Yama out to be an abusive monster by playing the sweet innocent card.

She might not come after me yet, but a few years down the line, me butting into her plans will come back to bite me in the ass. I just know it.

She can take me down. She's not taking him down with me, though. Even if it means career suicide and making myself look even more out of my mind, I'll get her first. Somehow.

Yama's POV

So I hear Mimi's back in Japan. Maybe I can finally get up the courage to tell her. She'll hate me even more, I'm sure of it; after all, I told her I hated her and that I never wanted to even see her again. Outrageous lies, yes, but she doesn't know that. I wouldn't blame her for wanting to shoot me even more; she tries to warn me and actually get over our petty feud over nothing, and I throw it back in her face. Maybe she's right. I'm quite the asshole. How else can I explain my behavior?

I suppose me getting hit by a car is karma for all the bullshit I've ever said to her… extreme karma, but definitely karma. And a wake-up call. She's back, and I'm able to finally walk. Sort of. I have an obvious limp, and it'll stay that way for a while, if not life. But I'm mobile. I'm going tonight. No more excuses. She has to know.

"If you're planning on going tonight, take these brownies I made," I familiar high pitched voice interrupts me. I turn around, confused.

Mom has a plate of fresh brownies in her hand.

Alright. I love my mom and all, but sometimes she scares me.

I was just sitting here, in the living room, staring out the window, thinking. Not saying a word. I hadn't said a word to her about going anywhere, especially not to Mimi's. Yet here she is, prepared for me to go with a plate of brownies, just as I decide to leave.

?

I swear, she has ESP. That would explain all the times she knew when I snuck out. And she wasn't even home to notice my absence. I have to hand it to her. She is good. Scarily good.

My shock must show on my face. My eyebrow shoots upward.

"What are you giving me that look for? You better get going; they're going to get cold," she says calmly as she walks over and hands me the plate.

I'm still silent.

"What? You look like you've just seen a ghost. Get going… time's wasting. I know you're going to go tell her. Take your medication with you… you don't want to wake up in the middle of the night tonight in pain," she says, as she moves around the room, straightening up a bit.

Wait, what?

"Mom, what…?" is all I can manage to say.

"Yama honey, I know you're my son, but I also know you're a grown man and you're on your way over to see the woman you love. I was young once too," she chuckles. I frown mildly. This is… awkward.

"Mom… first of all, how did you know I was going to go right at _this instant?_ Secondly, you're acting as if we're together. You know she's going to smack me and insult me, especially after what I told her before all this…" I say, knots starting to form in my stomach. I hate thinking of that night. And I'm so nervous I could puke. Putting yourself out there like that is terrifying.

She stops, puts her hands on her hips, and purses her lips. I'm in for a mini-lecture now.

"Yama, I'm your mother. I know you. I know when you're thinking about something big, and I know when you're going to do something important. I could see this coming for a while. And trust me, she won't smack me. I know you think I'm just being hopeful for you and that I'm biased in your favor, but just trust me on this. I know what I'm saying when I say you'll be pleasantly surprised and that she won't insult you. Just go. I can see it in your eyes how much you love her… go and tell her everything. You won't regret it." she says, ending softly. A comfortable pause allows her words to sink in. I'm not sure how she can say she knows what she's talking about with Mimi, but at this point, I'm already too hopeful for something good. In the back of my mind, I know it won't work out how I expect. I know she'll hate me even more and this will separate us completely forever. But I still need to tell her, regardless.

Mimi's POV

I'm restless this evening, and I'm not sure why. I had a cup of tea and I ran for over an hour this afternoon; I should be winding down about now, but for some reason, I'm quite energetic. I can't sit still. So I'm cleaning. And cleaning. And cleaning. The past month has been hectic. Not only just because of the show and the events, but my mind has been restless. Yama is already on my mind every single day, but it seems of late he's been on my mind nearly 24/7. I haven't seen him since I visited him in the hospital. I miss him dearly, but I hear he's doing much better. A part of me wants to just march over to his place and demand an audience with him, just to tell him everything; all the lies, all the crap, all the truth, and more than anything, all the hidden emotions and words I never got to say to him, the real ones. Not the fake, angry ones. I don't care if he hates me more for it. I don't care if he thinks I ruined his life. I want him to know the truth about how I feel. I want him to know I'd lay down my life for him and that if he ever needed me, I would be here for him, regardless of the situation. The problem is, I don't have the guts to do it. I don't have the bravery to swallow my pride and tell him all that, knowing the outcome. I'd rather he think I hate him than he know and mock me for it.

And… someone's knocking at the door, completely interrupting my train of thought. I usually don't get visitors. Especially at night. I'm not particularly in the mood for company, but curiosity gets the best of me. I pray it's not _another_ one of Sora's interns or whatever coming to check on me. Ugh.

I look through the peephole, and my heart nearly stops.

Yama??

What in the world is he, of all people, doing here???

What could he want with me? He hasn't come here to berate me some more, has he?

I undo the locks and open up the door at light speed. My eyebrows must be disappearing into my hair, they're so high. I'm completely speechless. He doesn't look angry. Not in the least bit. He's got brownies.

An apology?

"Hey Mimi… uh…. Are you… busy?" he asks, awkwardly. He looks… nervous?

Why…?

It takes me a moment to register that he has just asked me a question. I snap out of my shock enough to form a coherent sentence.

"Uhh… no, not at all… come on in…" I say, still bewildered, and move aside. He limps in, supporting his weight mostly on his good leg. It breaks my heart to see him like that.

"Are you alright?" I ask, staring at his leg, then up at him. He grins a crooked smile at me. My stomach flips.

"It's just a flesh wound!" he jokes, laughing a nervous laugh. "I technically should be in a wheelchair, but I hate that damn thing. Besides, as long as I'm not up on my feet for too long, I'm okay. Doesn't hurt too much," he explains, making his way over to the nearest chair.

Am I the only one here who sees the weirdness of this whole situation? Yama shows up, a month after getting hit by a car and nearly dying, after _I_ was in the hospital for attempted suicide, and we haven't spoken since he yelled at me for telling him about Sora, yet here he is with brownies, making jokes about his injuries.

What the hell?

I must have that look written on my face. Don't get me wrong. I love that Yama is here. I love being around him. I'm thrilled he came to see me, and I just want to wrap my arms around him and never let him go.

But still… this is just…. Strange.

"So… um… how have you been?" he asks. Stalling.

For what, though?

I'm too stunned to even ask why he's here.

"Uh… good…. Milan was… fun. And you? How have you been doing?" I ask, and as soon as those words come out of my mouth, I'm mentally kicking myself.

_Seriously, Tachikawa? How have you been _doing_??_

_He just found out that his fiancée has been cheating on him, was planning to use him, then got his by a car and might not ever be able to walk without a limp ever again._

_How do you think he's fucking doing?_

He doesn't catch onto this internal rebuking of myself. He shrugs.

"Eh… hasn't been the greatest month, but I'm alive and semi-well, which is good." is all he says.

Awkward silence.

_Ask him. _

_Ask him why he's here._

_Go on._

_Tachikawa, grow a pair and ask him!_

"So…" I start, but lack the ability to form a coherent way of asking him. He looks at me, looking like he's thinking about something important.

What is going on? He hasn't said a mean word to me yet. He looks as if he actually _wants _to talk to me.

"So…" he responds.

Seconds pass by, and the tension and awkwardness in the air grows thick enough to cut with a knife. Both of us want to say something, but neither of us can, for some reason. It's just such a weird circumstance!

He clears his throat.

"Well… you might be thinking 'why the hell is he here?'" he starts.

"You might be right," I respond, too surprised for formality, or politeness, it seems. He bites his lip.

"Well… Mimi, I came for two reasons. The first was to apologize to you for what I said to you before…. Before… all… _this_," he says, looking up at me with a completely sincere look in his eyes. "I know I was completely out of line… especially because, well, it all turned out to be _right_, but still, I had no right to speak to you like that," he says, looking away.

I'm filled with a curious mix of love and rage. Love because I know he is truly sorry for what he said to me. Rage because he's absolutely right. I was trying to help him out, and that's how he chose to take it. Rage momentarily wins.

"Damn straight you had no right! I was trying to help you out, dammit!" I snap. He looks up at me, a bit surprised at my outburst. I am too irritated for words, recalling the pain and turmoil I went through for him. "Do you honestly think I would do that? Even if you think I absolutely loathe you, do you think me so low a human being that I would ever consider doing something like that to _anyone_? I'm flattered to know you think so damn highly of me, Yama." I spit icily, now glaring at him. The more I think about it, the more angry I get.

He says nothing. Which makes my outburst seem rather childish and mean. But dammit, it's insulting that he would think that I would ever sink that low, to try and destroy his relationship, to undermine something that brought him happiness! Only a cruel, heartless bitch would do that.

I suppose I'm angry in part because I know how I feel about him. He doesn't.

He sighs.

"Maybe I should have waited to come visit. I intended on apologizing, but maybe this was too soon…" he says, and starts to get up. Immediately, I feel a twinge of regret. I walk towards him.

"No, Yama, you don't have to go… I'm sorry for that. It's been a stressful month, for both of us, I think," I say, gently pushing him back into his seat, offering a small apologetic smile.

"You got that right," he chuckles ruefully. "But you're absolutely right… I'm sorry for thinking that of you. As much as we've never exactly… gotten along…. In the past, I know you're not a horrible person, Mimi. I guess I just sort of had a feeling something was going on and was in denial, and when you told me… I just…. Flipped. I'm really sorry. It was a complete asshole move. I'll understand if you'd just rather we not speak again, at all," he says, looking up at me with a curious expression. He is apologetic, yet… sad? Why in the world do his eyes have a pained look in them? I hate this. I want to gather him up in my arms until it goes away. It's not right for him to be hurting.

Upon those words, I feel as if a cold knife has been shoved into my chest.

The feeling must show on my face, clear as day.

"What?" he asks, caught off guard by my expression, and the tears welling up in my eyes.

Should I tell him.

_Tell him. Do it. He won't hate you. You might lose him completely and forever anyways. It's better that he leaves this place knowing the truth. DO IT!_

"I… I… just don't want that," I say, my voice starting to grow thick with tears. He looks bewildered.

"Why?"

I sigh.

"I… don't know if I can tell you," I say, and look out the window, feeling his eyes burning into mine from the side.

"Mimi, what are you talking about?"

I say nothing.

A single tear rolls down my cheek.

"Mimi! Talk to me! What are you talking about? Why are you crying?"

I take a breath.

"Yama…" I say, my voice cracking slightly. I take another breath.

"You keep calling me that… you've never called me Yama before…" he whispers softly. I look up at him. He still looks completely confused, but also… concerned. Caring. Something I've never seen when he was looking at me. Something I've only dreamed of.

My lower lip quivers slightly.

"I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay. I don't want you out of my life," I murmur, my voice cracking all over the place now. He looks more confused than ever. I continue, "You think I hate you. You think I loathe you and want you dead and hate being around you…. But…. You… I…. I need you. I need you more than anyone else. You mean more to me than anything ever has and everything ever will, and I know you probably hate hearing this, hearing that the woman you hate s in love with you, but Yama… I have been in love with you since childhood. I've always loved you, always will love you, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter what happens, I love you in every sense of the word. I don't care what you say to me, and I don't care if you laugh at me or mock me or…. Anything like that. I just want you to know. I am sick of pretending to hate you because I'm too afraid to tell you the truth, and I'm sick of yelling horrible lies at you and fighting with you all the time. It breaks my heart to have to tell you that I fucking hate you when all I really want to do is hold you and be around you. Now… I know. This is ridiculous. Say what you will. Leave if you want. This must be humiliating for you. Or humorous. I don't even know. That's it. That's all I have to say." I say, suppressing sobs and trying to make myself understandable. By the end, I completely fail. My body is racked with sobs. Tears are streaming down my face. I must look like a mess.

Silence.

He hates me. He must. Why else would he not say anything?

Then,

"Is all that… true?" he whispers. I bark out a dark laugh.

"No, Yama, none of it is. I just like making long, pathetic, drawn out confessions of deep, forbidden love and bawling my eyes out in front of someone who hates me. It's _loads_ of fun!" I laugh, still crying. I cross my arms, and look the other way. I can't even bear to see what kind of face he's making at me.

And then….

Arms.

Big, warm, strong arms, wrapping around me. The scent of… Yama. Sweet, slightly musky. Unique. Definitely Yama. Pulling me into his expansive chest.

What is he…

?

"Yamato…." I say, stunned, my arms still crossed. He pulls me closer, and leans his head down near mine. My heart is about to give out here….

"I like Yama better…" he whispers in my ear, sending chills down my spine. I'm still half crying, so my breaths are coming in gasps. I look up at him, completely lost.

What is going on?

"Yama… what…" is all I can say, before I register the look on his face, in his eyes. The look I know I give him when he's not looking. The look that, in its silence, speaks volumes. That says 'you are the world to me'. Love.

My heart is pounding so loud I wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it.

"That's the second reason I came over tonight. I wanted to tell you that the past 20 odd years have been a lie. I love you, Mimi. I always have, and I wanted you to know before I thought I had to leave you alone for good." he murmurs softly, looking me right in the eyes.

I've known him for so long, I know when he's lying.

He's telling the truth.

He loves me.

I could die right now. My life is now complete.

……………………………….....

Yay!!! They finally confessed it!

And I finally came through on a self-imposed story deadline!:D

Joyness.

Haha, it's reading week. I should be studying. But I spent a few hours today studying. I felt like writing mushy romantic crap.

: )

I'm trying for chapter 13 before the end of the year. I'm going to try my damndest.

R&R por favor!

I'm off to bed. Then… more studying! WHOOO FOR FINALS!

:/

Later taters!


	13. The Sweetest Sound

SY 13

Whoot! I'm updating within a decent amount of time. Go me. :D

Anywho, so I'm glad I got such good responses to the last chapter. I wrote it when I was a bit tired, so it didn't come out like I wanted it to. I was expecting harsher reviews. Yay. I still don't like it…. But then again, I'm a perfectionist, and rarely do things I do turn out in a way that makes me completely satisfied. I think I could have stuffed that chapter chock full of detail and sap. Maybe that's just me. I'm going to try and make up for that with this chapter.

Alrighty, enough ranting.

Mis 'gracias':

**M M Forever**: Lol, it's okay. I totally deserved it. I'm in a writing mood, and I've got more time on my hands, so yes, I will continue writing. :D Enjoy!

**XxxAlishiyaxxx**: Lol, damn straight! :P

**MimixIshidax**: haha, I love overbearing and weird parents. I had to make her the comic relief of sorts. She -sort- of reminds me of my dad. Sort of. :P Well, yes, she should thank him. But I figured with so much going on, she wouldn't really think about that. And I'm very glad I made your day! I hope you're feeling better!

Lol, this story has been going on for a long time. Case in point: that whole rant about waiting til marriage at the beginning. Haha, I'm no whore, but I don't really believe it's wrong if you don't. Just throwing that out there. :P

Less blather, more story!

Mrs. Ishida presents…

Chapter 13

Yama POV

"You think I hate you. You think I loathe you and want you dead and hate being around you…. But…. You… I…. I need you. I need you more than anyone else. You mean more to me than anything ever has and everything ever will, and I know you probably hate hearing this, hearing that the woman you hate is in love with you, but Yama… I have been in love with you since childhood. I've always loved you, always will love you, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter what happens, I love you in every sense of the word. I don't care what you say to me, and I don't care if you laugh at me or mock me or…. Anything like that. I just want you to know. I am sick of pretending to hate you because I'm too afraid to tell you the truth, and I'm sick of yelling horrible lies at you and fighting with you all the time. It breaks my heart to have to tell you that I fucking hate you when all I really want to do is hold you and be around you. Now… I know. This is ridiculous. Say what you will. Leave if you want. This must be humiliating for you. Or humorous. I don't even know. That's it. That's all I have to say." she says, her words in a jumble, her tiny body shaking with emotion, until it takes her over. Huge tears are rolling down her cheeks. She looks so pathetic and sad, and because of that my heart yearns for me to hold and comfort her. Yet in that same moment, it's one of the moments of my life.

Silence.

I am too stunned to say anything.

Mimi… loves me? _Me??_

She has been pretending as well?…

This must be a cruel joke. There is no way that Mimi, my beautiful, wonderful, Mimi, could ever possibly harbor a fraction of the same emotion that I have for her. Either that, or I'm dreaming. I will the words to come out, but there is so much to say, so many questions and exclamations and gratitude fighting to make their way out all at once. My heart races, and I feel as if I'm going to explode. One body can't feel this much emotion all at once. It's too much.

But I never want it to end.

If… this is in fact, true. The hope in me is trying to get out, but its being beaten down by common sense.

Why the hell would this be true?

Could it be true?

Could I _really_ be this lucky??

"Is all that… true?" I finally manage to whisper. She chuckles harshly. Humorlessly.

"No, Yama, none of it is. I just like making long, pathetic, drawn out confessions of deep, forbidden love and bawling my eyes out in front of someone who hates me. It's _loads_ of fun!" she laughs, still crying, and crosses her arms while turning her face away to me. My heart, which had been filling with the wonderful feeling of hope, soars.

I don't think I've ever quite felt this way. Ever. And the reason she's crying is because she thinks I don't reciprocate. Instinctually, I stay away. I am used to staying away from her when she's upset, even if I want to scoop her up in my arms and care for her. This time, is different. This time, I _can_ hold her. Not only can I hold her, she wants me to hold her.

_Wants_. Me.

Mimi wants me.

If the situation weren't so serious and if she weren't so upset, I would be grinning like a maniac.

My arms reach out to her, and for the first time in over 20 years, I finally get to hold her. Really hold her. I pull her quaking body against mine, and rest my head on hers. I've been dreaming of this moment for so long; to actually be able to do it is completely surreal.

"Yamato…" she stutters, raising her head a bit. She momentarily stops weeping.

"I like Yama better…" I lean down and whisper in her ear. I noticed she had been calling me Yama tonight, which I hadn't understood… she called me that when I came over and she told me about Sora.

Ugh.

I flinch away from this thought.

Nothing is going to ruin this moment, especially not Sora.

Now, it's clear to me. It was her own pet name for me, I guess. I like that idea.

She looks up at me, her hazel eyes wide with surprise and confusion.

"Yama… what…." she gasps, before her look softens. And in that moment, it doesn't matter that we've been abusing each other the past 20 or so years. It doesn't matter that I look all beat up, still, from my accident, or that her hair is a mess and her makeup is smudged and her eyes read and teary. It's still, singlehandedly, the best moment of my life.

If looks could talk, I would hope that mine would say exactly what I was feeling right now. Love. Hope. Joy to the extreme. Of course, nothing could possibly convey the feelings I'm experiencing. Not even close.

My heart is pounding so loud I wouldn't be surprised if she could hear it.

"That's the second reason I came over tonight. I wanted to tell you that the past 20 odd years have been a lie. I love you, Mimi. I always have, and I wanted you to know before I thought I had to leave you alone for good." I whisper, looking her right in the eyes. They grow wider, somehow, and I realize she believes me.

Relief.

Her jaw drops slightly, and it looks as if she is trying to speak but is completely unable to. Instead, her lower lip quivers slightly, a single tear rolls down her face, and her arms wrap around me. Without even breaking eye contact, we both lean in, or rather, rush in, simultaneously, and after all those years of deception and yearning, the pressure cooker of emotions that we had been bottling up completely is released. Within seconds, we're both squashed almost painfully close to each other, although I'm positive neither of us minds, and I know if I had my choice, I'd be even closer to her.

I had been wondering ever since I grasped the concept of kissing what kissing her soft, smooth lips would feel like.

I had always imagined, as hard as I tried not to, that it would be an incredible experience, for sure. I could never quite get a grasp of what her arms around me,, her warm body in my arms, her silky smooth lips on mine would feel like. All I knew was that whenever I thought about it, a mixture of intense physical and emotional desire, and crushing reality would fill me. I avoided thinking about it because the more I thought about it, the more I wanted it, and what was the point in mulling over something that you would never have.

That thought made me pull her ever closer with a surge of joy. The fact that she molded herself to be tighter against me makes my heart race further.

The grand kiss in my dreams has nothing on this. This is even better than I could even imagine. Feeling her fragile hands struggling to press me as tight as possible against her, feeling her lips searching out and moving against mine as frantically as mine were, and hearing her breathing rate rapidly fluctuate like mine was only adds to the feeling that a mental picture never could.

It seems like our embrace lasts forever, yet still not long enough. I don't think I could ever tire of kissing her.

Finally, we pull away from each other, equally out of breath and speaking volumes in intense looks, our foreheads resting on each other.

We fall into a comfortable silence. My leg is screaming at me to sit the hell down and my still healing ribs are following suit, but I don't care. I could endure the pain if it meant that this was all real and I was truly holding her in my arms.

She takes a deep breath.

"You mean to tell me…. All those years, when we were trying to protect our images and trying not to look stupid… we could have been together? Tonight would have been just another night?" she whispers, her brow furrowing. When you put it that way, we sound… moronic. All that time, wasted. Our 'feud' was so petty.

I just nod. Her eyes well up with tears again.

"What's wrong?" I ask, as she burrows her face into my chest.

She shakes her head. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing is wrong… I'm just so…. Overwhelmed, and… Yama, all that _time_…" she says, her voice muffled and cracking. I run my fingers up gently into her hair, something I've wanted to do for ages.

Before I can answer, a sharp pain runs up my leg. Damn that hurt!

I wince, and she looks quizzically at me before realizing.

"Oh! Yama, why are you standing? Come over here and sit down!" she says, taking her arms from around me and dragging me over to the couch, my entire body protesting in both pain and the sudden coolness that ensued when she let me go. She plops me down on the couch, looking very concerned, grabs a huge blanket on a near-by chair, and proceeds to cuddle up with me again.

That's more like it.

Her arms wrapping around me, she rests her head on my chest and again looks up at me tenderly. "Could you do something for me?" she asks. I smile a little.

"Anything."

"Slap me?" she asks.

I raise an eyebrow.

"Anything but that." I say, looking at her strangely. I didn't expect that. I didn't think she was into that sort of thing…

She chuckles a little, her eyes still a bit moist. "I just want to make sure that I'm not about to wake up, alone in bed, and have to go on through my day thinking about this," she clarifies. I know the feeling. "I keep thinking any minute now my alarm is going to go off, you're going to disappear, and when I see you next, things will be as normal and we'll just be right back at start." she says with a frown. I don't like thinking about it either. It kills the buzz. She laughs lightly, still sniffling a little. "Yama, how did this even happen?" she asks softly. I shift her so she's closer against me.

"What? How did we come to finally admit it, or how did we manage to go 2 decades hiding it?"

"Both."

"Well… I was too stubborn to say anything, at first. And then… well, after your last…. Attempt, I guess that put me in panic mode," I say slowly. I would really rather not talk about that. The memory of her limp body in my arms….

I shiver. Her brow furrows.

"So… if we both weren't so…. Stupid, I guess is the only way to describe it… this whole thing could have been avoided? That whole deal with Sora, the years and years of depression, the countless heartaches…?" she mumbles.

"Two decades. Two fucking decades," I say in agreement. "I guess I owe you an apology for being so stubborn and proud to say anything… all the pain I caused you…. I'm truly sorry, Mimi. For that, for everything I've said over the years…. Shit. All I ever wanted… all I had to do was gather the courage to say something. This whole things seems…. Ridiculous."

"If you're apologizing, I should too… you know I don't think you're a stuck up loser with an ego problem. I can't tell you how sorry I am for all that I ever said to you, and for leaving you to be with that horrible bitch," she says, looking up at me guiltily. I shake my head.

"Neither of us knew. And neither of us was going to say anything. We 're both much too stubborn… and it does make sense, I guess. It would be rather pathetic to love someone dearly who hates you."

The next few hours are filled with stories, revelations, secrets, and declarations of love that seem to have come straight out of a romance novel. Never have I felt so comfortable with someone. I never want this night to end.

Mimi's POV

Time has seemed to have stopped. And that's alright with me. I want this night to last forever. I'm still wildly afraid of waking up cold and alone rather than warm and ecstatic, here in Yama's arms, but if it's a dream, I'm going to enjoy every second of it. Hearing his voice all soft and warm rather than harsh and insulting and his heartbeat right next to my ear is one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced. His rich scent enveloping me, his strong arms holding and caressing me, I couldn't be happier.

His hands are wandering all up and down my back, through my hair, on my neck and face. I don't think I've ever quite felt this close to anyone. Then again, I've never loved anyone quite like I love Yama.

Of course, there is the pesky matter that no matter how close to him I get and how tightly I hold him, I always want to be closer. I want to be as close to him as physically possible. And his hands on me aren't doing much to help that feeling at all. The feeling of his fingers tracing gentle paths on my bare skin makes me shiver and sends chills throughout my body. In response, my hands run slowly up and down his chest, feeling every line and muscle along the way.

Don't get me wrong, I'd still love him even if he were bald and 300 pounds. But the cherry on top of the cake known as Ishida Yamato is that he's attractive. Ridiculously so.

This isn't helping. I already want to be close to him. I already want to show him how I love him. I want to make love to him. Not have sex with him, as that's just a physical act. I want the real deal. I want to love him and achieve that intimacy and closeness with him. That's a given. I've wanted that for years.

Now, not only do I want to love him, this proximity his gentle touch is only fanning the flames of desire. I can feel the slow burn building up and spreading throughout me. It's now damn near impossible to not think about what it would feel like to have him pressed up on me like this, have myself wrapped around him, explore that strong body, have his hands and his lips all over me, bare skin-on-skin, with nothing but our senses around us…

I sigh. Loudly. I can't help it. My gentle touch grows a little heavier.

Damn I want him. More than I've ever wanted any man at any point in my life.

In response, he pulls me closer. My head automatically tilts upwards a bit. He looks down at me, once again captivating me with those beautiful deep blue eyes.

Oohhhhh, I want him. I want him so badly in every sense of the word that it almost hurts. A new urgency overwhelms me…

* * *

And I'll stop there…. For now.

: )

No worries, methinks I smell an upcoming lemon.

Lol.

Anyways, finals in 2 days, then home! Yay!

Hopefully I'll keep updating like I am now…. I want to finish this story!!!

R&R!

Buenas noches!

MWAH


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